I literally had someone from lemm.ee openly being enbyphobic in my replies to one of my posts in 196 and they didn’t even get banned, just had their comment deleted.

That's a limitation of the moderation tools in Lemmy. Only one report appears per instance, and if a community mod actions it, the report is cleared, but they lack the ability to instance ban.

And when that happens, the admins who can instance ban never even see the report. That's as true of hexbear as here.

Either way, that user is banned now that I'm aware they exist. A quick look through my moderation history will show you that queerphobia or gatekeeping of any kind gets you a permanent ban