If he doesn't take the handshake the only appropriate thing to do is to wait outside the bathroom, follow him to the parking lot and then follow him home. Once you learn his address, you can start learning his routines and the routines of his family. There are many options at this point, but the one I recommend is applying for a job where he works. The next step could take a long time, potentially years. Work your way up the ladder. Take night classes to fit the roles you're applying for internally, and dedicate yourself to the job. Delay finding "the one" and starting a family like you've always dreamed of. Nothing matters but the job. Bide your time and when you finally are promoted to this man's boss, on your first day, offer a handshake. Of course, he won't deny you. Relish this moment. Feel the warmth of his hand I yours. Smile and say "was it really that hard?" When he gives you a quizzical look, laugh it off like it was a joke. You want to call it there, but you're in too deep. You're making nearly 300k a year in salary and commissions and you have a clear shot at EVP if you play your cards right. Your lifestyle has changed and you have an expensive mortgage, a boat payment for a yacht you don't have time to take out, and a number of women half your age that you spend what little free time you have with wining and dining. They have expensive tastes. You tried coke recently and you really like it. It makes your job so much easier because you need to be "on" all the time and you haven't been sleeping well, but you've discovered that if you do just exactly the right amount, you can perform at peak. You have it totally figured out.

Pineapples want to digest me though

You are sooo good looking.

And honestly? Pineapples are pretty delicious.

My favorite thing about Russian is that most things translated to English sound so rude out of context, haha

Most of the speech sounds like aggressive dictation "Come over", "Sit down", which is such a stark contrast to the English manner of speech: "Do you think it might be possible if it doesn't terribly trouble you to pass the salt?"

I also learned a little while ago that apparently this manner of speech is also seen as somewhat offensive in parts of Scandinavia because it's seen as passive aggressive lol

Regardless of which phrase is being said, I think it's nice that we have a little rituals here and there.

A sneeze is often loud, sudden, startling and disruptive, so having a standard word or short phrase can ease us back into normal conversation mode without derailing the preceeding conversation (like actually asking if someone is okay could take us too far from the original topic). A quiet sneeze recuires no easing out of.

If I do a loud sneeze and no one says any variant of gesuntheit, I feel compelled to mildly apologise (pardon/excuse me) before carrying on, so one party does the little ritual to bridge between violent sound and normal speaking either way. Can be nice to "bless" the sneezer so they dont have to apologise for disrupting.