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this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2026
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I say gesundheit as I'm not religious and don't like to propagate religious sentiment, but I like the idea, too. I'm not German.
I say “pineapple”, because unlike God, pineapples are real. Also it confuses people.
Pineapples want to digest me though
On the scale of malignancy, I’d say the pineapple’s desire to digest us is pretty tame compared to the attitude of most gods. At least it’s tasty while it does so.
You are sooo good looking.
And honestly? Pineapples are pretty delicious.
In Russian, it is "be healthy!" (будь здоров!), much to the same tune
My favorite thing about Russian is that most things translated to English sound so rude out of context, haha
Most of the speech sounds like aggressive dictation "Come over", "Sit down", which is such a stark contrast to the English manner of speech: "Do you think it might be possible if it doesn't terribly trouble you to pass the salt?"
I also learned a little while ago that apparently this manner of speech is also seen as somewhat offensive in parts of Scandinavia because it's seen as passive aggressive lol
It depends regionally and contextually, quite some Russians are quite hyper-polite in their own right, which in turn is a laughing matter for the others.
I mean, if you would be so kind to accept another possibility, that is. I don't insist!
Salud is good too
I say gelassenheit as I'm not superstitious and don't like to propagate superstitious sentiment. I'm also not German.
Say Schönheit instead and be as witty as a real German.
Funnily enough, it is not universally agreed on in German to say "Gesundheit".
Many don't do it any more (me included), because it is a comment on an uncontrolled body function and thus pretty intrusive.
Exception to this may be people who are really close to you.
Regardless of which phrase is being said, I think it's nice that we have a little rituals here and there.
A sneeze is often loud, sudden, startling and disruptive, so having a standard word or short phrase can ease us back into normal conversation mode without derailing the preceeding conversation (like actually asking if someone is okay could take us too far from the original topic). A quiet sneeze recuires no easing out of.
If I do a loud sneeze and no one says any variant of gesuntheit, I feel compelled to mildly apologise (pardon/excuse me) before carrying on, so one party does the little ritual to bridge between violent sound and normal speaking either way. Can be nice to "bless" the sneezer so they dont have to apologise for disrupting.
You could bless directly, like a self-signed certificate.