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Real men cry
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this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2026
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I think what the manosphere misses completely is that we're all human before we're man or woman. Yes, im a man, but first and foremost Im a human, and humans cry, take care of babies, cook, clean and everything else that some might see as "feminine."
I am completely devoid of any experience of this manosphere. When I grew up, I'd ask for help from girls because I was crying all the time and I didn't want to be crying all the time. Later learned it was from trauma. But most of the girls and women I talked to would say some variation of "why are men so afraid to cry?" like lady I'm not afraid, I just don't want to, because being sad sucks. I want to stop being sad.
Or the doing the dishes, or taking care of babies, that was something that all the men did in my family, equally, going back to 1940's Detroit.
And this kind of culture was the only one I ever experienced in school, partly because almost all of my teachers were women.
So to me, these memes about men being afraid to cry or do things seen as "feminine" are not just frustrating, they're downright upsetting.
I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but are you sure it exists to the degree you think it does? Like have you taken a survey and checked the numbers, and if you did, are you sure you're not confusing somewhere like NYC with somewhere like Birmingham, Alabama?
My experience is totally different. Growing up in Australia in a single-sex school, men cooking or cleaning were laughed at by teenagers, unless it was the barbeque since it's manly. "Get back in the kitchen" jokes and "make me a sandwich" jokes were everywhere and amplified once our classes became co-ed.
The invisibility of toxic masculinity at that age was the most damaging thing. Nobody wanted to be seen as weak, so there was never a chance to understand what being strong truly meant. I think single-sex schools are unfortunately breeding grounds for the manosphere.
I always hated crying , hated feeling emotions, never wanted to be seen as weak emotionally. I'm still suffering the consequences of that environment, as suppressing sadness impacted everything else.
Edit: apologies, did not realise what community this post was in. Did not mean to ignore the rules.
That was a powerful sentence. Too busy not to look weak, so you can’t understand what being strong truly means.
Well put!
Grew up in South America. Crying was treated with violence in many occasions. But it was more systematic and dependant on context... Like if the male kid having the tears was a popular one or after a lost football match, then was okay-ish or met with some surprise. If it was any other kid with "lower maleness" (e.g. other sport than football, or a kid that also happened to be sigma, or beta) then there was a high correlation of violence. This was excercised by other males, as part of a ritual to their own maleness. Yeah. Crazy stupid.
The terms sigma and beta are just made up bullshit. Even the original wolf study was about captive wolves and was subsequently disproven by studies of wild wolves.
Human relationships and hierarchies are far too complex to be explained this way.
First, the "alpha male" in a wolf pack is a myth. Not entirely the same thing you just said. Also, I'm not writing a sociological study. I am just saying "alpha", and "sigma/ beta" to make a distinction among kids, with a term that people use. So, even if the basis was wrong, the terms are used and we can't deny their existence. The guy that wants to be "alpha male" may be very well pursuing a myth. sure. unfortunately, he's still behaving like that: punching the other kids (to whom he may be categorizing as "sigma/ beta male" even if it were not using the words) for not being male enough. Exercising their desire for a hierarchy. Based on a myth, yes.
There's a quote about Bell Hooks that says... something something. I won't use it. Maybe the context is not entirely right.
No i haven't studied it, but just from seeing random social media posts by people with millions of followers, it's definitely a thing. Of course it's probably a minority but even if it's 1% of Americans that 4 million Americans bathing in this fucked up sexist ideology.
Hu... Oh... Oops.