219

Give me something juicy

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] Canconda@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 days ago

Dude literally is saying that you, as a woman, shouldn't have to conform to feminine stereotypes that you don't intrinsically want to conform to.

[-] ada 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

No, what he's saying that being trans is "conforming to gender stereotypes" and that if we got rid of stereotypes, trans people would be able to express themselves how they want, without having to be trans.

Which is to say, he's suggesting that trans women are all trying to be feminine, and if there was a way for men to be feminine without societal push back, trans women wouldn't need to exist. He doesn't explicitly state the last bit, but that's what he really means, and it's why he considers his position controversial

When I made a post going in to detail about the lack of relevance feminine gender stereotypes have to my day to day life, despite the fact that I'm transgender, he largely ignored it, despite that being the basis of his "opinion"

[-] Canconda@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 days ago

Sounds like you care more about having the trans label than people actually being free to express themselves.

[-] ada 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

What I care about is people who aren't trans, trying to erase trans people, by blaming them for the system that oppresses them, whilst letting themselves off the hook for propping up the same system.

[-] Canconda@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Totally understandable that you as a trans woman would need to be vigilant for transphobia. But you find what you look for and right now your transphobia alarm is giving you a false positive here.

Cuz that is not what buddy said, at all.

[-] ada 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Go and re-read the post of the guy you're defending.

His opening sentence was literally "Being mtf or ftm trans is conforming to gender stereotypes with extra steps"

He is quite openly saying that without gender stereotypes, trans people wouldn't exist, and that trans people are really just folk who are too caught up in gender stereotypes. He continues to express that opinion even after trans people directly and openly talk about their identity and how it is distinct from stereotypes.

I've been having these discussions for a decade or more now. I know red flags, I know dog whistles, and I know why those things are problematic. And to be frank, you don't.

[-] Canconda@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Oh I can tell you've been looking for transphobia anywhere you can find it for a decade. It's obvious.

You just keep confirming that you care more about having a label than about people being able to express their gender identity freely.

Believe it or not, you don't speak for everyone who isn't cis.

[-] ada 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Believe it or not, you don't speak for all everyone who isn't' cis.

The only person in this conversation trying to speak for all trans people is the person you're defending

It's telling that the only fault you see is in the voice of a trans person defending themselves, and not in the voice of the person saying that trans people don't actually exist, they're just people confused about stereotypes

this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2026
219 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

38390 readers
797 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS