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this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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I want to see a Jurassic Park movie where it's just geese and swans breaking out of captivity, and mildly annoying everyone.
I actually made an AI video of exactly what you just described.
Boy have I got the video game for you: Untitled Goose Game
Hot Fuzz. But with a swan.
You’ve never met a swan, have you?
“Mild annoyance” are the seagulls stealing your food.
(Yes, that swan dunked the seagull so it couldn’t fly away.)
Swans don’t steal food. You give it to them hoping they don’t murder you.
Weirdly, the notion that swans are particularly aggressive is one I learnt on the English-speaking part of the internet (so I instantly assume it's an USianism). Any references to swan behaviour that I can find in German talk about how they're associated with calm and serenity.
I've hung out with swans heaps in Australia and they've been almost entirely chill bros who will take food if offered but won't harass you for it. I wonder if different species have different demeanours, like how Canada geese are known for being especially aggressive.
In my experience it's more of a specifically British phobia. They have these sayings about swans breaking arms...
i have to wonder if americans uh, get them confused with geese.. Because geese can absolutely have a tendency to actively harass you, while swans don't get close enough to interact with us in the first place.
Unless american swans are just suffering from lead poisoning like the general population?
That's because the Germans have enough sense and morals to leave them alone :)
They are calm... by German standards.
"Remain perfectly still, their vision is based on movement."
"Nah, fuck this bird." Kicks swan to the moon
I want to see a Jurassic Park movie where it's just realistic velociraptors breaking out of captivity and are just mildly annoying. Then the main character gets stomped on by a brachiosaurus.