How do you figure out your identity? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by JayJLeas@lemmy.world to c/asktransgender

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I know I'm not cis, but that's about it. I'm AFAB, I would like to appear more masculine, I have dysphoria around my chest and genitals and would like them to be more masculine, but I want to present as a femboy or a twink, I don't want facial hair or curves and I want a deeper voice. I like the idea of people not knowing what gender I am when they look at me. But at the same time neither she/her not he/him feel right for me, and I'm happier when people use they/them. Part of me thinks I don't need a label, but at the same time I feel like I need a way do describe and identify myself. Can anyone help? I feel so confused.

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[-] riwo 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

i think labels are stupit! makes people put me in a category and assume things and try to police me.

i'm me, just me, just a creature existing. need no labels.

i know what labels i dislike though and how i definitely do not want to be seen. telling people "nope, not a man! don't call me that! don't think of me like that!" is a very usefull use of labels imo :3

not to bash u, if u have a label u like. can help when u are struggling with feeling invalid for who u are

[-] JayJLeas@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I agree that they're stupid, and I wish they weren't "necessary". I get asked in job applications what I identify as (which I'm pretty sure should be illegal), and I guess I just want a succinct or easy way to tell people who I am.

this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2026

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