How do you figure out your identity? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 days ago by JayJLeas@lemmy.world to c/asktransgender

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I know I'm not cis, but that's about it. I'm AFAB, I would like to appear more masculine, I have dysphoria around my chest and genitals and would like them to be more masculine, but I want to present as a femboy or a twink, I don't want facial hair or curves and I want a deeper voice. I like the idea of people not knowing what gender I am when they look at me. But at the same time neither she/her not he/him feel right for me, and I'm happier when people use they/them. Part of me thinks I don't need a label, but at the same time I feel like I need a way do describe and identify myself. Can anyone help? I feel so confused.

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[-] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Your description definitely seems to me like it's describing someone towards the nonbinary side of the spectrum; as for the specifics of what nonbinary identity would fit with you (eg does your gender change over time or is it constant, do you mind not having a more specific label than 'nonbinary'?) I'm not entirely sure on only what you've said - sorry :/

I do want to just remind you though that you're valid, whatever your label is :3

And congrats on figuring out specifically what gives you dysphoria/euphoria/what body you want, it's really great to have that self awareness!

[-] JayJLeas@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I don't mind not having a more specific label, I guess I just worry about using non-binary when I do lean towards a binary side, but am not fully there. My gender doesn't change afaik, although some days I'm more okay with my feminine traits, they still don't feel like "me" if that makes sense.

Thank you! I feel like I'm a nuisance, asking friends and family to change how they refer to me.

this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2026

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