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Which high school friend took a path you didn't expect?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
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I guess fuck all the intergenerational trauma she experienced, it's all her fault for not being smarter about men! I guess you missed the part where she got divorced and began to break free of her traumatic upbringing which absolutely included changing the type of men she was allowing into her life.
Get a grip, you sound like a "nice guy" yourself.
She dumped you because she didn't know how to respond to a guy legitimately caring about her, and then she married an abuser to relive her trauma.
I never said her intergenerational trauma doesn't matter, but whenever my intergenerational trauma has caused me to make bad decisions, I've never received any sympathy. People just say I'm responsible for my own decisions and can't blame my present conditions on the circumstances of my past.
I've seen it happen all the time where women stay with their abusers, and take their anger out on anyone who tells them they deserve better. And yet they blame men as a generalized, abstract category for all the ways they've been mistreated by particular men, sparing no reflection for the selection bias at play.
Saying "women choosing to date abusive men is a problematic choice" isn't misogyny. Pretending they have no agency in who they decide to date is.
Don't be a cuck.
Cry me a river. Being treated badly isn't a good or valid reason to treat others badly.
And you're definitely not doing the same thing to women (blaming them as a generalized, abstract category) when you speak like this, got it, sure, sure.
Man, this couldn't get any more sad and funny at the same time. Whew, thanks for the laugh.
But seriously, you really need to learn to let go of that pain and try to not blame the opposite gender at large for what you see as perceived failures on their part. If you have only ever experienced women saying your intergenerational trauma is your own problem... you might be just as guilty of the "sin" of choosing to pursue the wrong type of person as you claim women are.
I personally have had loads of supportive and loving women in my life, so it's hard for me to wrap my mind around this mindset. Maybe I'm just lucky, or maybe it has something to do with me not making generalized statements about women in general instead of accepting them all as unique, flawed individuals just as much as anyone else, including myself.
Dude, you're being really based here
Thank you kindly for the compliment.