view the rest of the comments
News
Welcome to the News community!
Rules:
1. Be civil
Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.
2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.
Obvious biased sources will be removed at the mods’ discretion. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted separately but not to the post body. Sources may be checked for reliability using Wikipedia, MBFC, AdFontes, GroundNews, etc.
3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source. Clickbait titles may be removed.
Posts which titles don’t match the source may be removed. If the site changed their headline, we may ask you to update the post title. Clickbait titles use hyperbolic language and do not accurately describe the article content. When necessary, post titles may be edited, clearly marked with [brackets], but may never be used to editorialize or comment on the content.
5. Only recent news is allowed.
Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.
6. All posts must be news articles.
No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials, videos, blogs, press releases, or celebrity gossip will be allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis. Mods may use discretion to pre-approve videos or press releases from highly credible sources that provide unique, newsworthy content not available or possible in another format.
7. No duplicate posts.
If an article has already been posted, it will be removed. Different articles reporting on the same subject are permitted. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.
8. Misinformation is prohibited.
Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.
9. No link shorteners or news aggregators.
All posts must link to original article sources. You may include archival links in the post description. News aggregators such as Yahoo, Google, Hacker News, etc. should be avoided in favor of the original source link. Newswire services such as AP, Reuters, or AFP, are frequently republished and may be shared from other credible sources.
10. Don't copy entire article in your post body
For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.
Those that tell you to just ‘get over it/move on’ clearly don’t understand that if it were that easy, you would have done that already. Who wants to live with this kind of pain? Especially when it comes from someone who raised you and was an integral and fundamental part of who you are regardless of whether or not the experience was positive? Idk if you are still in contact with your dad; I cut off contact with my mother ~6 years ago and it was a years long process that included multiple attempts at lowering contact and would always result in me being pulled back into her abusive cycle just to repeat the whole thing over again. It was an incredibly slow burn and it took my partner telling me that I’d never be free of her abuse until I cut the cord permanently. My life has continued to improve ever since.
Your example of everything being ‘perfect’ until it isn’t…absolutely resonates. While my mother never used that word exactly, she too cycled between being excessively complimentary (esp when she was in front of someone she wanted to impress, bc a compliment to me was actually her congratulations to herself) and downright insulting and hateful of whatever I said/did to tap her ire. Anytime I did something that made her look good (in her eyes), of course it was a trait we shared. If it was something she disliked or disagreed with, she would say ‘how are you even my child’ at best and call me nasty names at worst. Because of the whiplash I felt due to this dichotomy, I too felt that her compliments and praise rang hollow and felt completely insincere. In fact, she would actually use praise and compliments against me when she was angry or disappointed in me, because obviously it was an offense to her that I fell short of her expectations of me and demonstrated potential to make her ‘look bad’.
With narcissistic personalities, it is all about perception and control. How they perceive themselves and how they want to be perceived drives most of their control tactics, and it is a game that is set up for them to win always at the expense of anyone else that doesn’t fall in line and ‘get with the program’ to borrow a phrase from my wonderful mother. It is a terminal diagnosis; a narcissist can never be wrong.