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submitted 1 month ago by Plum@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world

YEADON, Pa. -- A Pennsylvania man is facing more than 500 charges after investigators say they discovered more than 100 human skeletal remains in his home.

Authorities said 34-year-old Jonathan Gerlach broke into mausoleums and gravesites multiple times at Mt. Moriah Cemetery in Yeadon, Pa. since Halloween.

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[-] RaoulDuke85@piefed.social 58 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Eh. They are already dead. Who cares?

You can fuck my corpse when I die.

[-] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I hereby donate my body to freaky shit upon the primary condition that it is funny as all fuck.

If medical science wants my cadaver for training purposes, my will has a clause that they must also use me in the same school's theatre group as a comedy prop, manequin, puppet or ventrilloquist dummy. Limit one Hamlet a year. Unlimited stand up. Mannequin wearing school colours in the campus bookstore is also acceptable as a default resting place in between better uses as long as I am wearing classic Ray-Bans.

If some big tiddied goth girls or cultists wanna commune with the dead, conjure demons in profane rites or perform weird sex acts, I approve but the school colours and Ray-Ban rules still apply in perpetuity.

[-] FirstCircle@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

You drive a hard bargain. OK if the 'Bans aren't exactly new? Flexible on tiddie dimensions?

[-] miseducator@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Real Frank Reynolds vibe right here!

[-] Ach@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Dude that guy was bustin his balls to get those skeletons. What a pace.

[-] 0ops@piefed.zip 3 points 1 month ago
this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2026
228 points (100.0% liked)

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