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Adam Ellis
(startrek.website)
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this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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Gotta get the mattress off the floor so the spiders don't come to cuddle at night.
And maybe a houseplant for atmosphere.
looks like we found the dude who hates friendly cuddles.
Reminds me of a greentext of a dude that didn't get laid because a spider scared the girl off. He killed the spider, only to later find out the girl had some DST. He mourned spiderbro.
that spider was saving bro.
bro didn't deserve that spider
Friendly cuddles without consent? That's assault, brother!
I'm pretty sure the spider consented.
you know where they wasn't consent? when they killed that spider
The on-set intimacy coordinator gave me the go ahead! They said, in fact, "squish that spider or so help me you're going to NEED a paid professional to conduct intimacy in this bedroom".
I'd rather keep the spider alive than getting laid with someone who demands I kill a spider for sex.
look the spiderhomies need their good night kisses
But the spiders eat the bedbugs?
Sounds like something Dear Modern would say XD