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How could they?
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I was with you until the consumption of ear wax or ear wax substitutes.
Black coffee & Negronis
Caffeine has already abandoned me, I still drink decaf but it's definitely not tasty enough to drink it without milk and sugar.
Negronis ... I've been into cocktails and bitter ingredients long enough that I'm pretty sure that's never going to happen for me. I do enjoy some cocktails with Campari, but more for tiki drinks like the Jungle Bird or Fairy Sugar Mama. Fernet Branca is the superior bittering agent IMO.
Weirdly enough, I used to like absinthe both undiluted and in the traditional water + heated sugar way, but I can't stand that concentration of anise flavor nowadays. The Fairy Sugar Mama is absinthe-based though, and it's the tits.
You've sent me spiraling. Now all I want in my life is some black coffee and a negroni