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Foolproof advice
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this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
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We all know that won't work. Try this instead.
Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we're getting hitched.
That's kind of an insane gift for a first date given how expensive cheese is.
I mean, if he makes it himself or knows the people who do, he probably gets it a lot cheaper than at the store.
True love right there
Bro, plastic cheese…
Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.
It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.
👉👈
i mean it does also seem to be wrapped in plastic
Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.
I read that as "a slice of milk" and like. Technically yeah it's not wrong
Wait, all opiods? If so does that man that heroin addicts could have a few slices of cheese and use less smack? Gotta have the healthier option, ya know
A heroin addict is taking way more opioids than he would make endogenously from eating a piece of cheese. Cheese contains tryptophan, an amino acid that is a precursor to serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood regulation. It also contains tyrosine, which is a precursor to dopamine, another neurotransmitter involved in pleasure and reward. Additionally, cheese is high in fat, which can stimulate the release of endorphins, hormones that have mood-boosting effects. Cheese contains many ingredients that activates at least 3 signaling pathways involved in boosting mood.
Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.
That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there
Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.
I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.
Fascinating
🖖
also: username checks out
I keep stealing shoes, and filling it with rue, but all it's given me are shouting matches
Bitches love cheddar
The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!