177
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 11 points 23 hours ago

I don't want to sound superstitious but I went to a school when I was a kid and it was based on an old book and a real similar thing happened. Look for pillars of salt that used to be women. That will be the real giveaway

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 hours ago

If you went to a school that was all based on one book, then you were either part of a cult, or part of a cult disguised as a church.

[-] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

God has sold more books than any other author ever. If we needed other books He would have written a sequel.

[-] jaxxed@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

God wrote wrote several.

Well first he had at least three guys write books for him (ghost authors?)

Then he branched out and wrote one in Arabic, and at some point he wrote another in the new world.

Another time he had some kind of revival and got a bunch of folks together to decide on which parts should be in his book, and they decided to put his first books in as a prologue, and added a whole bunch of new-wave hippy shit to it.

Then he picked some folks to translate it over centuries from one language to another, and then to another, and then eventually to English.

Oh but before your book from school, he even had some old English king decide to commission another "translation", 'cause he didn't like some parts.

Maybe your kids will get lucky and get the Trump bible in school, so that they can learn the US history.

Edit: ironically, I went to a school similar to your username

[-] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

No Trump bibles in our schools because they are always sold out! The Maga Bible King James Influenced edition even has a Dedication by the original Author saying how great Trump is and how he was Chosen as a divine instrument of retribution to bring the kingdom of heaven to Earth. That is why he has been rewarded with three wives, two of them foreign models, and vast riches. As we can read in the prologue about a blameless and upright man of Uz, the tools of God are most often given earthly rewards before their heavenly reward.

[-] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago

Ngl an art installation at BM that is literally a pillar of salt would be funny as shit.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 14 points 9 hours ago

Yeah crazy that salt deposits would be found near the dead sea, the saltiest bitch out there. Must've been God.

[-] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Salt deposits named Edith forming naturally? Yeah right. Checkmate atheists.

[-] Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 17 hours ago

you went to a school based on a book? and woman were transformed to salt?

trust me, you dont sound superstitious at all.

[-] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

Was your early schooling not largely book based. Our school had a whole room full of them we could look at.

[-] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 hours ago

I heard those places exist, but we burnt down ours.

[-] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

Probably for the best. I've heard the symbols in those books can be decoded into Forbidden Knowledge like in the first garden from that other book. Better not to be tempted with options.

[-] Red_October@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Totally the same thing.

this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2025
177 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

17808 readers
1138 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS