Now I work in a factory because I never felt I had the capacity to aim for anything

Having no motivation is still my biggest drag on myself. I still don't feel I deserve things, and I feel I've lost a lot of the ability to really even want things, so if I can't set goals or have desires, it's hard to find that ambition. I used to have lots of dreams, but my parents pushed them out of me. My life now is...fine...but I don't know if it will ever be what young and innocent me would have wanted for me.