I'd be glad to host their parties, but if they want me to be their +1 at a friend's party, I'd have to think about it.

An interesting thing I learned about myself after I started running birthday parties (at the place I worked) is that I actually can enjoy parties - if I'm the person running it. Instead of a nebulous crowd of strangers that I have no idea what to do with, I have a role, the host. I can go around and introduce myself with a clearly defined reason to do so. I can get to know people by offering to refill their snacks and drinks. I can plan when things happen and when things end, including when people arrive and when they gotta leave.

I enjoy doing things for others, and I can direct my usual-anxious energy into simply checking in on people and making sure everyone's having a good time. Guests appreciate it, and it helps reassure me that I'm doing something right. Crucially, I know other people are neurodiverse like me (especially if they're coming to a party of mine), so I make sure to set aside one room (when I can) as a sort of "calm room." If someone starts to feel overwhelmed, I bring them to the calm room so they can be alone for a bit. (It's better than hogging up the bathroom, which is what I tend to do when I get overwhelmed at others' parties.) I make sure they know that I wouldn't be offended if they chose to leave early, but also that they are welcome to take their time and return to the party any time they want.

I've only had two friends take up the offer so far, but they were both super grateful for the option (and both returned to the party afterwards.)