So, I'm going to be the best man in my friend's wedding. I'm very flattered to have the honor. He's one of my closest friends, and I have no problem supporting him as his best man/best trans.
Furthermore, I'm out to him, and he has made it clear that he wants me to show up in whatever way makes me the most comfortable. I've picked out a dress, started taking voice lessons, and plan on getting my hair and makeup done professionally.
I don't feel dysphoric at all about filling a traditionally male role, but...
How the fuck do I write a speech? A lot of best men seem to give speeches that joke about their 'bromance' with the groom and all that, which I find to be wholly inappropriate in my scenario.
My first thought was poking fun at picking a woman for best man, but some of his family are transphobic and I don't want to rely on gender humor out of fear that they stew in their transphobia and say something to ruin his wedding. Then I thought maybe I could crack a joke or two about being trans - but I also don't want to lean into the self-deprecation so much that I validate anyone's transphobia.
So, how do I even approach this?
I was thinking I could open with, "When the groom asked me to be his best man, I said, 'sit down, there's something you should know.'"
Maybe I'm overthinking it, but this is a friend who has been there for me in the past. I want to fill my role in his wedding perfectly. Any advice is welcome and appreciated.
If you can't find a way to do humor you could just be genuine and sincere.
Yeah humor is fickle, this is some solid life advice alataorange is handing out
Genuine sincerity is the large majority of what I have planned for the speech. However, he and the bride are already a little bit in defense mode, as their families include some transphobes.
It may not end up being the right call once I draft and edit the speech, but I'd like to try to do something to lighten the mood.