Respectfully, representation absolutely does matter. Having Uhura on the bridge was representation. Sisko and Janeway were representation. Culber and Stamets were representation. People need to be able to watch characters who are like themselves and are heroic, important, respected, admired. It doesn't mean there's a song and dance. And I don't know what you mean with "we call in the business Narcissism".

I agree they mishandled the stuff with Adira - actually I hated that character and their entire arc because the writing was lousy and super inconsistent, and the writers squandered what could've been an interesting character in favor of angsty awkward teenager stuff. The specific scene you're talking about was well-intentioned but very clumsily handled and I agree, correcting someone on your pronouns should be no big deal in the 30th century.