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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025
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https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/25/us/tea-app-dating-privacy-cec
are men concerned for their safety dating women? Has one in three men experienced sexual or physical violence at the hands of their female partners?
While there's no denying that women have it worst both in numbers and in gravity. One in nine isn't anything to scuff at either. People are shitty.
one in three is only sexual and physical violence from an intimate partner, your one in nine stat includes sexual harassment, the stat is even higher for women if you include sexual harassment:
https://interactive.unwomen.org/multimedia/infographic/violenceagainstwomen/en/index.html
it's not clear to me the sexual violence one in nine men experience are primarily caused by women, either - LGBT+ men such as trans men are at much higher risk of domestic and sexual violence ...
Come on. A lot of men being shitty doesn't justify violating the privacy of every man you're interested in. If you made this argument about ethnic or religious groups with higher-than-average crime rates, you'd rightly be panned for it. I'm a woman and I think this is awful.
agreed, the app is not defensible, but a lot of men are enjoying and justifying the doxxing of the women users of the app as justice served, and I think that's abhorrent
Fair enough.
Take the factor that men are less likely to report it and multiply that by the one in nine. Chances are it's actually higher, just stigmatized for reporting.
True. I personally know two men who have experienced long term physical and emotional abuse from a female partner and neither would ever report it. One still takes the blame for it, the other says it's not as bad if a woman does it to a man and he knows he won't be believed anyway.
I've experienced physical violence at the hands of 2 of my 3 long term partners. I swear some women think that if you're a fairly big man, it's fair game to hurt you. In reality my pain tolerance is average or below. I can take a hit, but holy hell does a near full force bite hurt.
Neither was an isolated incident either. Both were repeat offenders. Both claim I was violent when I've never done more than just block attacks. I'm not a violent person, I spent time at the gym bulking up to avoid fights in the first place, being a former bullying victim. My last ex knew all about my trauma, but got mad as shit when I accidentally hurt her wrist blocking an attack from her exactly one time. This after I had told her multiple times that if she kept trying, my self defense reflex might kick in at some point. Every time I told her to please be less violent, she brought that one time up and said I'm worse than her.