“Maybe he just…” rude? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 month ago by religion6614@sh.itjust.works to c/kindnesskommunityalt

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Sometimes, when I reassure my girlfriend, I’ll say when someone is an asshole, “maybe he just X”, like “maybe he just had a bad day” or “maybe he’s not mean, he’s just upset” or “your dad has to take care of the family, so when he’s mean to you or mom, he’s stressed since he cares”.

Am I being rude for this?? Kind advice please. Or when her online friend said “IM GONNA KILL EVERYONE” I told her it was a joke and she shouldn’t say anything because it was probably him joking.

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[-] wendyz@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

I agree with the other comments. Sometimes, people are more inclined to want to fix things like you, while your girlfriend just wants to talk. I saw you said you would try this, which is good, but try empathizing with her and just listening to what she has to say. “I’m so sorry, that sounds horrible!” would even work.

this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025

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