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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world to c/lgbtq_plus

Hello!

Making this post to check in on other asexual spectrum people. Curious how attraction works for you?

Recently discovered the term "side" and feel that fits well. Always felt obligated for penetrative sex, liked servicing but awkward when things done to me.

Been with men and women. Recently with someone could not be more my type but could not perform. Twice. Wanted to (or so I thought) but it was wanting to be a people pleaser.

When it clicked. Dont like sex. Enjoy things around it, watching partner reactions,kissing, cuddling, performing oral, but actual? It feels like pulling teeth.

Searched and searched and this seems to be a hard Google. 🤷

What prompted me to make this post.

Asexual people what has been your journey of self acceptance? How does attraction works for you? How have partners been about understanding it?

Thanks for the responses.

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[-] pixeltree 7 points 3 days ago

It's been a real weird time realizing what I thought was attraction was envy and I'm actually demi. Love being penetrated and servicing but don't find people physically attractive at all. Made it real strange discovering I like sex with men. Only ever realized I was demi because I have some ace and demi friends and I was talking about my experiences with hookups and had a moment where a friend said ".…pixeltree, are you ace? That sounded really ace" and I'm like shit goddamnit here we fucking go again with the goddamn introspection

this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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