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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world to c/lgbtq_plus

Hello!

Making this post to check in on other asexual spectrum people. Curious how attraction works for you?

Recently discovered the term "side" and feel that fits well. Always felt obligated for penetrative sex, liked servicing but awkward when things done to me.

Been with men and women. Recently with someone could not be more my type but could not perform. Twice. Wanted to (or so I thought) but it was wanting to be a people pleaser.

When it clicked. Dont like sex. Enjoy things around it, watching partner reactions,kissing, cuddling, performing oral, but actual? It feels like pulling teeth.

Searched and searched and this seems to be a hard Google. 🤷

What prompted me to make this post.

Asexual people what has been your journey of self acceptance? How does attraction works for you? How have partners been about understanding it?

Thanks for the responses.

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[-] carotte 8 points 5 days ago

tho, sometimes i wonder how much of my feelings toward sex, sexuality and attraction is asexuality, and how much of it is gender dysphoria, since i am a closeted trans woman… when i discovered my asexuality, i was still unaware of my transness. but tbh, the idea of having sex as a woman isn't that enticing to me either

this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
40 points (100.0% liked)

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