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Asexuality Acceptance: Your Experiences (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world to c/lgbtq_plus
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Hello!

Making this post to check in on other asexual spectrum people. Curious how attraction works for you?

Recently discovered the term "side" and feel that fits well. Always felt obligated for penetrative sex, liked servicing but awkward when things done to me.

Been with men and women. Recently with someone could not be more my type but could not perform. Twice. Wanted to (or so I thought) but it was wanting to be a people pleaser.

When it clicked. Dont like sex. Enjoy things around it, watching partner reactions,kissing, cuddling, performing oral, but actual? It feels like pulling teeth.

Searched and searched and this seems to be a hard Google. 🤷

What prompted me to make this post.

Asexual people what has been your journey of self acceptance? How does attraction works for you? How have partners been about understanding it?

Thanks for the responses.

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[-] carotte 12 points 4 days ago

it feels a bit boring to say, but… i've never had sex, and i don't want to. if sexual attraction really is feeling desire to be sexual with someone, then i've never felt it.

my journey of discovery was also pretty uneventful, as a teen i realized that people my age were pretty much all interested in sexual acts, and i thought, "hey, shouldn't i be interested in that too? shouldn't i feel sexual attraction too?" and then i remembered asexuality existed, looked it up, and went "yep that sounds like me!"

i have felt romantic attraction tho, once, and it was a very weird feeling that i can't really describe… i think i'm on the aromantic spectrum as well but i'm way less sure of that than of my asexuality

sorry if that's a bit of a boring answer, i guess my sexuality is just "nope" 😅

[-] carotte 8 points 4 days ago

tho, sometimes i wonder how much of my feelings toward sex, sexuality and attraction is asexuality, and how much of it is gender dysphoria, since i am a closeted trans woman… when i discovered my asexuality, i was still unaware of my transness. but tbh, the idea of having sex as a woman isn't that enticing to me either

[-] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

Not boring at all. The whole spectrum thing.

Part of why I like hearing from other asexual people. It has a very large gradient that's unique to the person. Find that much more interesting than different fetishes, but then again, asexual bias. Lol

this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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