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Exploring questions
(self.mtf)
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this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2023
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Transfem
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Living as a chosen identity in social groups is your best bet for starting. Ask a trusted friend to call you by a different name/pronouns and see how it feels.
If you don’t have anyone that you feel you can trust, there are plenty of LGBT centered Discord communities that are publicly available. I’m sure someone in those would be willing to help out! (I can also recommend some if you want)
And if you’re not willing to do that either, the the safest option would be talking to yourself in the mirror and having a conversation trying out a new name/pronouns.
I am also free to talk if you ever need, just hmu!
💖
I would be up for some discord chats. I've never been into it before, but just started for another group.
The idea of looking 100% boy mode (maybe man-bear mode), beard and all, and asking someone to call me something else just feels... Silly? (I mean no disrespect) it just feels like that would be super fake to ask, with my appearance. I feel like if I looked the part, it would be better. But investing in something before you try it out isn't really a great idea either.
I can't get over how supportive and wholesome these communities have been. It's been very helpful.
This resonates with me
It's uncomfortable both ways
I think it only feels silly because of the way we've been conditioned. You don't explicitly feel nor look "like a woman" (or however you end up identifying) so using different pronouns is simply Weird. And that's okay.
I find it helpful to "practice" in online settings and in games, as you mentioned. Any game that allows you to select your name, gender, modify your presentation, and see yourself in the 3rd person is good, like Stardew Valley. I also use SnapChat with my queer, transitioning friends. All of my friends know who I am and my pronouns, so when we have game nights (online or in person), they'll refer to me correctly.
It takes practice.
I get how you feel that way, and the fact that you don’t feel comfy in asking that out of your friends might be telling you something about your friends.
Anyways, my discord is @canada. Anyone else that wants to can hmu as well!