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This internet poll is breaking men's brains! - What we get when male fitness standards clash with female preferences.
(nataliaantonova.substack.com)
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this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2025
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I like guys who are in shape, broadly defined. So anywhere from whip lean and skinny to muscular and padded (which is what I'd call that pic #1).
It's not so much about looks, as the article notes, it's about lifestyle. I want a guy who can keep up with me. Husband is fat but lifts 5 days a week at least, he is strong and healthy and muscular, just fat, overweight not obese.
I do also have hangups about being bigger than a guy, don't think I am alone in that, and I'm pretty tall, so lean towards the fit and padded category but tall and a little too skinny also good.
I do think most regular people who are in good shape aren't "shredded" because that takes an obsessive lifestyle for most people , and I don't think an obsessive lifestyle is attractive. But a level of baseline fitness is.
It's funny but that is how looks work for me in general. Look good enough, that's a yes, and looking better than good enough is not any more of a yes. Looks are a primary filter but a yes/no binary not a scale.
Thank you for voicing your opinion! I can't speak on behalf of all men, but when I was younger, the majority of my understanding of what women liked was told to me by men
Folks like you help correct that!
I don't mean to imply that any man needs to change to please women's "type", even more important is that the guy be in the shape HE wants, of course. Just like I am not going to get fake boobs to please some "ideal", neither should guys worry about any ideal. Best to please yourself and let things settle out around that. I just think it is interesting when there's a disconnect.
I do feel happy for guys who achieve the bodybuilder physique, it's an accomplishment worth noticing. I don't think guys are doing that to be sexy, they are doing it as a project for themselves. I just personally don't find it more attractive than a baseline fitness, if that makes sense, and think I'm in the majority on that, not just of women but of people.
I didn't read it like that!
The main issue is that I (and likely many others) work on something we don't want only because some dude told us women like that. Exercise is one thing, but "8 pack abs" is another