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this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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Occasionally my partner does or says some things that remind me of the “manosphere” aka 4chan neckbeards.
And when it happens, we talk about it. I don’t pretend or let it go as “he doesn’t mean it” or “he doesn’t know what he’s saying”. I don’t get mad and he doesn’t get mad. We have an adult discussion and I’m careful not to talk down to him.
A perfect example was that he sometimes says “females” when he means “women”. I explain that it’s not a swear word but it’s still derogatory. I explain why. Once I did, he understood and stopped doing it.
It doesn’t have to be a big deal! Communication is key!
I laughed at this and now I’m going to do that in my head whenever I see that word
i don't know how could anyone watch Star Trek DS9 and still call women "females" like a Ferengi
Funny you say that! He doesn’t do it anymore but I just sent him this meme from !tenforward@lemmy.world!
serious answer: by consistently running and reading experiments that refer to male and female patients.
I try my best, but if I've read three-four papers in a day about a topic and all of them use male and female, probably gonna accidentally say female.
Sure, but honestly it sounds tiring if this kind of discussion is a recurring thing.
Agreed! But for me it’s not all that often, luckily.
Good luck with that. A red flag is a red flag.
I appreciate that he is willing to learn and grow. We all make mistakes. If you understand why it’s offensive and keep doing it, yeah red flag.
I think the ability to change with new information is admirable.
It is admirable and increasingly rare.
I'm sure this person really appreciates this warning about a person that they know and you don't
It's similar to how I appreciate your reply.
So, are you agreeing that your first comment was useless or that the comment you're replying to isn't? Can't have it both ways.
I think it depends on how often they're coming up with dubious takes, and how often there are repeats.
Like if you have to explain that gay people are just trying to live life, and that's fixing misinformation they got as a youth, fine. Good, even. But if you have that talk and then have to have to again a month later because they "forgot" or picked up more bad ideas? Concerning.
Friend of a friend was always getting talks to patch up his dicey world view, but then he'd go back to the same YouTube or shitty friends and come back two weeks later with a fresh batch of bad ideas. Really have to get to the root of the problem
No. Stop treating people like livestock.
You can go fuck yourself dude, trans women are women. For all social and identity purposes they are female.