532
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
532 points (100.0% liked)
Fediverse
33038 readers
167 users here now
A community to talk about the Fediverse and all it's related services using ActivityPub (Mastodon, Lemmy, KBin, etc).
If you wanted to get help with moderating your own community then head over to !moderators@lemmy.world!
Rules
- Posts must be on topic.
- Be respectful of others.
- Cite the sources used for graphs and other statistics.
- Follow the general Lemmy.world rules.
Learn more at these websites: Join The Fediverse Wiki, Fediverse.info, Wikipedia Page, The Federation Info (Stats), FediDB (Stats), Sub Rehab (Reddit Migration)
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
yep it's pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there's dozens of comments saying "what about the men" and completely missing the point
https://xkcd.com/322/
The response to "what about men" comments is, we're already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.
Either is a foil for the other and it's exactly the same bullshit.
What about the me
You can't spell me with me.
wat
As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.
The court thing is not universally true. I worked in a family law firm for several years, and the practice in the courts here is to start from a baseline of equal custody and placement, and I've heard the same about other states. The men who lost out were the ones who wouldn't fight, because they were convinced that the courts were biased. But hell, in one case, we got full custody and placement for a guy whose son wasn't even biologically his! (His wife cheated, and he didn't find out until well after they'd emotionally bonded.)
yep. the difference is, when women have been disadvantaged they tend to create spaces and pathways to talk about or change it. unfortunately a lot of men tend to isolate, even though they are not alone. then when they see something about a women receiving help through programs created by women for women their feelings of being abandoned by the system come up again. it's just another way that toxic masculinity hurts everyone. the fix for that is of course feminism, but it's a pretty massive barrier for most men to accept that.
What about them