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submitted 5 days ago by tfm@europe.pub to c/fediverse@lemmy.world
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[-] StarlightDust 111 points 4 days ago

Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I've lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.

[-] AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 57 points 4 days ago

yep it's pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there's dozens of comments saying "what about the men" and completely missing the point

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 12 points 3 days ago

The response to "what about men" comments is, we're already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.

Either is a foil for the other and it's exactly the same bullshit.

[-] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.

[-] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 25 points 4 days ago

The court thing is not universally true. I worked in a family law firm for several years, and the practice in the courts here is to start from a baseline of equal custody and placement, and I've heard the same about other states. The men who lost out were the ones who wouldn't fight, because they were convinced that the courts were biased. But hell, in one case, we got full custody and placement for a guy whose son wasn't even biologically his! (His wife cheated, and he didn't find out until well after they'd emotionally bonded.)

[-] AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

yep. the difference is, when women have been disadvantaged they tend to create spaces and pathways to talk about or change it. unfortunately a lot of men tend to isolate, even though they are not alone. then when they see something about a women receiving help through programs created by women for women their feelings of being abandoned by the system come up again. it's just another way that toxic masculinity hurts everyone. the fix for that is of course feminism, but it's a pretty massive barrier for most men to accept that.

[-] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 1 points 3 days ago

What about them

[-] mholiv@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.

100%

It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.

Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.

It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.

I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.

Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.

[-] misteloct@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago

Oh yea? One time I got kicked in the balls and it kinda hurt. Women have it soooo easy.

[-] mholiv@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Alas I have been shown to be wrong! If not for my womanly ways I would have been the wiser!

[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

you mean the comments that have been downvoted to the bottom?

[-] mholiv@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

But the fact that the majority (or perhaps less than half now) of the responses literally prove the point I am trying to make proves my point downvotes or not.

You have to remember the people who would literally unironically make such a post that proves my post are the densest of the dense.

Most sexists, while dense, are less dense than a black hole and would not prove my point for me under such a post.

Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.

that's kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.

Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it's just how it is now. Sort of always has been.

[-] mholiv@lemmy.world 35 points 4 days ago

THIS. EXACTY THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.

Me: talks about issue disproportionately affecting women.

Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.

[-] StarlightDust 14 points 4 days ago

Lmao look at that douchebag's comment history. Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.

Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.

oh no funny man on the internet yaps a lot about things.

I come here for sociological research more than anything.

[-] lemmysloth@lemm.ee 4 points 4 days ago

I seriously doubt you know what the word research means.

i seriously doubt you have any concrete view of politics or sociology to begin with.

[-] Amanduh@lemm.ee 8 points 4 days ago

I bet you can take any situation and make yourself a victim

[-] mholiv@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Stttooooppp you’re giving me old school internet sexism nostalgia. 😂 That 2008 energy.

Do you miss halo 3 lobbies too?

[-] Amanduh@lemm.ee 3 points 4 days ago

Mhm i knew it haha

yeah bro, it's the internet, everybody has opinions.

"yeah so actually i think this is a big problem"

"yeah evidently it must be a problem, but like, this has always been a problem, and seems to be a consistent problem"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM!!!!"

Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.

also to be clear, you are literally straw-manning me here, i'm not saying that "men have to suffer with women having an opinions" nobody cares, it is what it is, i think it's interesting actually. You're the one arguing that because people discuss topics that they find personally relevant is somehow "oppressing women"

I'm not saying you shouldn't shitpost about that stuff in shitpost threads, by all means do, there's interesting dialogue in it. I'm just saying this is a common occurrence anywhere on the internet, for any community. Hell go find a community for something as mundane as lego, you'll find the same shit there.

Not everybody NEEDS to have their own specific issue that specifically effects them for it to be a valid or real problem. I just think this issue is far broader than most people expect it to be, ironically, i could argue you're literally behaving the exact same way you claim i am. Because you are, and that's exactly what's happening.

Do i care? No, i don't it's the internet do whatever you want.

[-] StarlightDust 12 points 4 days ago
[-] StarlightDust 14 points 4 days ago

Nah but have you ever considered that the reason that you think that there is a male loneliness epidemic is because nobody wants to hang out with insufferable misogynists?

no, i don't think that's a reasonable answer, because you're doing the fascist thing of "these people are wrong they need to change, and if they don't we can justify whatever shitty behavior we want, because we're morally superior"

It's not dissimilar to a lot of nazi rhetoric.

I think the problem ultimately stems from a disconnect in social development through out society. Feminism has pushed women forward, successfully in a lot of ways, but it has also pulled men back, in a lot of ways, that's not necessarily bad, but there is now a void there, and there is nothing filling it in, that's why the manosphere got so big so fast. It's literally capitalizing on an empty market.

If you want to solve the manosphere, the solution is simple, we need to fill in the void, and fix this disconnect that's been happening for probably 75 years now. How we go about that is complicated, and not particularly simple, but i think it's pretty clearly evident that the problem is aimless/directionless guidance for men especially in the last 20 years. Paired with historically contradictory ideas of manhood. Men are supposed to be strong and protect the weak, but it's hard to do that when they don't want it, or need it.

Once this void is filled in, this shit stops happening, simple as.

[-] StarlightDust 14 points 4 days ago

a picture of (not me) because i don't approach women in the club. Because i don't go clubbing.

Shit's weird, i'm staying home, no thanks.

Good meme though.

[-] mholiv@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

You are extremely dense. It is 100% you in that picture because that is the way your bumbling, rambling posts read like.

[-] Konkyer@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.

[-] mholiv@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I mean if you use the Marxist/Leninist definition of left then obviously not. But I mean left leaning in terms of the societal understanding.

this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
527 points (100.0% liked)

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