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this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy
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It sounds like she’s constructed two competing versions of you in her mind—an idealized version that always understands and sympathizes with her, and a second version constructed from all the times you’ve failed to live up to those expectations.
If you can’t be her idealized version of yourself, you can demonstrate that you’re not the second version, either. Focus on proactively doing things for her when she’s not expecting you to—everything you do that doesn’t match what her mental model of you predicts you’ll do will weaken that model in her head.