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The reason there's a spectrum is that the simple "rules" like Y chromosome = male genitalia, aren't rules nature plays by. It's just the first pattern we noticed when we looked at DNA, that holds true most of the time. The actual instructions to make genitals aren't even fully located on the X or Y chromosome, they're all over our DNA.
The "third option" is "doesn't follow the rules we thought it was supposed to" - which is more about our lack of understanding how it works. Then saying the people who don't fit with our idea about how we think it works are the problem, instead of something we've oversimplified and don't fully understand. Then you get those unwilling to accept that maybe we don't understand nature, so we're going to force any outliers to fit into the neat boxes we made up before we knew better.