"Work just hard enough that your family dont chuck the lazy bastard in a cardboard box in an unmarked hole."

My dad (who I do love BUT) has been a lazy self absorbed dropkick his entire life. When my grandmother died and left him some cash we had a very frank discussion "I never expected you to die with a cent to your name so do what you want with most of the money, but go buy a prepaid funeral and dont stick me with a bill when you go!"