[alt text: a series of 3 images of comedian Diane Morgan portraying her character Philomena Cunk. In all three images, Cunk is standing next to a plastic statue of Santa Claus and speaking. Across the three frames, there are captions, which say: "The good children will get lots of presents and so, it turns out, will the bad children. In fact, the only ones who won't get very much are the poor children. That's because Santa judges a child's goodness based largely on parental income."]