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[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

One homeless person decides to do drugs in front of the library. I guess we have to remove all the benches and make everything very inconvenient for everyone.

The one person does a thing so we have to take it away rule doesn't apply to people with houses.

"Oh look somebody stabbed somebody to death with a knife. We better take all the knives away from everyone." This would never happen.

What if a homemed person did drugs in the library (which probably happened statistically)? Would you close up the library?

I guess I'm just saying this because you feel like the act was some how moral, I'm telling you it's not. That's okay, real life can be tricky, but don't kid yourself, removing those benches is anti-homeless behavior.

You don't have to take the blame personally for it, just own it. But if you don't admit that you're part of the problem, then that's pretty bad.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

One homeless person decides to do drugs in front of the library. I guess we have to remove all the benches and make everything very inconvenient for everyone.

That is not even close to what happened. Why are you just making shit up? Also, see my replies to others about how the library you hate is doing much more than you personally could ever possibly do to help the homeless.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

What do you mean, "See my replies"? Do you think people get paid to post on here? If you had something you wanted to add, add it to your initial comment. I don't have all day.

Sorry my dude, doing a bunch of other stuff for homeless, doesn't absolve you of anything. You do good stuff for homeless, great! Plus 20 points to Gryffindor. You take away benches, not great. - one point to Gryffindor.

I'm sorry my dude you got to deal with the negative one and why you got it.

Again, this doesn't make you a bad person to remove benches, what makes you a bad person is doing s*** like pretending you're not part of the problem. It's fine. I'm part of the problem too. The problem is systemic.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Okay, well since you're lazy, I'll help you:

The library allows homeless people to be inside it from open to close. They give them free internet. They give them free help filling out necessary government forms. They hang around just to chat. They allow homeless people to sleep outside all around the building. They are literally building a shower and a washer/dryer facility in the new auxiliary library free for anyone to use.

In America, your local public library does more to help homeless people than anything you have probably done yourself, but I guess since they haven’t personally solved the problem, they’re the worst of the oppressors.

And:

As I told someone else- homeless people can be in the library from open to close. They can sleep on library property. They have free access to all library services including free internet, help accessing all kinds of government aid, and just having someone to talk to them if they’re lonely. In another branch, the library is putting in a shower and a washer/dryer for anyone to use for free.

But yes, they took away a few benches because of problem people rather than calling the cops.

Not that it will help, since I didn't remove anything. I made it clear from the top that my wife is the one work works at this library. You're not only too lazy to read other people's responses, you're too lazy to read what you're responding to.

But please prove me wrong and tell me how you've done so much more for the homeless than this and other public libraries. Go for it.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

I'm surprised that someone who has a wife who's done so much for homeless doesn't understand the very basic point I'm trying to make.

Your wife doesn't absolve herself of removing benches by doing a million things for the homeless. It doesn't work that way. It has never worked that way. And it will never work that way.

Pretending that it does, does not help homelessness. It hurts it big time. It hurts homelessness way more than removing benches. Because you are pretending that you can take anything away from them as long as you make up for it in other ways. By your metric not by theirs.

Also I never said I did a lot for homeless people. I think I volunteered at a food bank once. But I never took anything away from them. But I am still part of the problem like everyone else is.

Apparently except for you, You're a special birthday boy who has a wife that does a lot of stuff for homeless people.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Good job not responding to almost anything I said. It proves you don't read.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

I read it all, I only responded to the parts that I felt were worth responding to. The rest was hot garbage from somebody who's a special birthday boy.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I know you're lying because I never once talked about myself or how special or great I am. First you lied about the one person doing drugs and now you're lying about this.

For the record: I am not special or great or anything positive. I am one of the worst people on this planet. By far.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Here, let me refresh your memory from your original post:

"The library here really did have to remove benches outside in a couple of places (in part) because of homeless people."

"Unfortunately, some (far, far from most) of the local homeless around the library were either very publicly using drugs or getting so fucked up on those drugs (or possibly just having a really bad mental illness episode) that they were harassing people and scaring kids. "

So there was more than one person doing drugs? What is your point?

You know, your wife probably feels bad about removing the benches. She probably doesn't claim that it had to be done. She probably tried to figure out how to keep the benches.

Does she know your posting this shit online?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I thought this was about you claiming I was saying I was special and great and terrific and all that.

I mean I don't know why you would lie about someone as awful as me saying something about that about myself, but if you're going to pretend you never even said it, I think there's no point in continuing. And before you ask, I have no idea why she's married to me either. Probably super low self-esteem. If I didn't have a child who depended on me, it wouldn't be something she would have to worry about.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

I just said that you were a "special birthday boy" because it seemed to me that you think you are above the homeless societal issues. You never addressed any of my points. It's like you never read any of my replies where I kept repeating myself that my problem isn't that your wife removed benches.

Now, I agree, you are awful, right now. But you know what, I have faith in you. I know you got the stuff to do better. Work on yourself. Drop the birthday boy attitude and come back a lion! Don't do it for me, do it for you!

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

No, every homeless person in this world is better than me.

And no, I don't have the stuff to do better.

So I'm not sure why you're still lying about this supposed attitude of mine where I'm not worse than almost everyone else, you definitely included.

Like I said, if there wasn't someone who depended on me, this would not be anyone's problem.

Also, your "I have faith in you" is another lie. No you don't. Stop lying. Just because you're better than me doesn't mean you get to keep lying to me.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Ok, let me give you some pointers.

First off, no one knows what they are doing, everyone is doing their best, life is short. No ones best is enough, no ones life is long enough to do what they need to do. Everyone is messing up all the time. It is the human condition. The people who come out on top are those who make small manageable improvements. Did you not shit your pants today? Great job! Give yourself a star! Maybe you will never stop shitting your pants. Maybe you will. Who knows maybe shitting your pants will help you one day. Also 1000% billionaires are giving themselves stars for not shitting their pants.

Look at your situation. What do you need to do next? Gather evidence, make a choice. Was it wrong? No. Was the outcome bad? Maybe, but you didn't know that before you did a thing. Now you have new evidence, make another choice. This is the waterslide we are all on. Oh, and guess what, if a bad happens to you, you may be traumatized by it. What's the result? Your brain thinks avoiding a good situation is good instead of bad because the situation reminded you of the trauma. And there is nothing you can do about it. That's life.

Why do you care if I am lying about “I have faith in you” or not. Don't care. Stop caring. We don't have time, you don't have time. Take every complement at face value. Take every insult as coming from someone who doesn't know what they are talking about. Life is too short.

Your brain and it's feelings, they are not your friends. Your brain is trying to keep you alive in an environment that it wasn't evolved to handle. Feel and share your feelings, they are real, but they don't reflect reality or the facts of the situation. Use the rational part of your head as much as you can.

Life doesn't make sense, stop trying to make it make sense. It's your life, your water slide ride, you can choose to do with it what you will.

Edit: Except for me of course, I am perfect and have no flaws :D

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I didn't read any of that. Why would I be interested in pointers from someone who came into this discussion being rude and insulting to me and then continued while also lying to me repeatedly, including about me to me?

I get that you suddenly realized you were talking down to someone significantly inferior to you, but this desperate attempt to make up for it isn't going to work. Sorry.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah! Now we are talking man! That's that lion! Bite the shit out of that zebra!

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Thank you for proving my point. You didn't actually care, you were trying to save face because you realized you were talking to someone you are infinitely superior to, and now that you've realized that didn't work, you've gone back to your original level of hateful comments.

And that's fine. I deserve the hateful comments. I don't deserve the lying. If you had just stuck to hating me like most people, it would have been fine.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

You: Not disagreeing with my arguments or providing a counter point.

Me: Not saying anything about my argument

You: "See this proves my point"

I don't think you know how points work.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Nope. My point was that your claim that you had faith in me was a lie. You're proving it.

Again, I acknowledge that I deserve your hate. I don't deserve to be lied to.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

I wasn't lying.

How does anything I said prove that I was lying? How could I do anything to prove that I was or was not lying about that? I can't, there is no evidence I could provide that would prove what is in my heart.

If I said "I was actually lying", that statement could be a lie.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

You proved you were lying by immediately going back from "I care" to hating me. I mean what more proof is necessary?

You don't need to pretend or lie about caring. It's fine. I can even give you my personal details so you can enjoy my obituary in four years when the kid turns 18.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Same thing with hating. It is something only I can know. There is no evidence I can give to prove to you that I do or do not hate you. You should read the long post I wrote, you might find some helpful stuff in there.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

You hate me because you know of my existence. Like everyone else. And I don't want your help. I want to get my daughter out of this country and safely to adulthood and then make the world a better place by removing myself from the equation.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

I am sorry my dude. My brain doesn't work like that, weather or not you believe me is immaterial. I wish you luck. I hope you know or eventually know that your value is intrinsic and not tied to anything you do or accomplish. The same thing is true about your daughter as you already know.

Also watch out for the negative self-talk. Words are powerful and using them negatively on your self is devastating.

I want you to get strong so you can kick my ass (In discussion) later. There are lots of things that I don't know that I don't know, that you know. I will need your help to get educated and stronger. It is hard to come by good arguments.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Why do you think I care what you want when you have been nothing but rude and hostile and insulting to me apart from this and one other post?

Also, not knowing things about me didn't seem to stop you before from repeatedly telling me how I think I'm a special and exceptional person even though that's a lie.

Also also, considering it took you multiple comments to even give enough of a shit to notice that it wasn't my library and I didn't have anything to do with it, I don't believe you wish me luck.

Unless you mean the luck of me offing myself on the first try in four years, which I will thank you for. I'd hate to have to try more than once.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Valid points, all of them.

So here is the dilemma I run into. Communication is error prone, but also the truth matters. So, when someone publicly posts something that I think is incorrect (maybe I am wrong maybe not), it can have a wide effect on a lot of people. So when I engage, I have to make a judgment call on whether or not a person is being genuine. If I respond a couple of times and the other person is not acknowledging my arguments or providing counter points. It could be many things:

  • My argument is bad
  • My argument is unrelated or off topic.
  • I am wrong.
  • I misunderstood or vice-versa.
  • ..... (There is probably a million things here)
  • It could be I have caused a stubborn and/or emotional reaction causing them to not back down.
  • or it could be the person I am arguing with has bad intentions. They are willfully spreading misinformation.

Now I have to pick one and go for it because while the possible misinformation is being unchallenged it is spreading to people who are tying to figure stuff out. Note that it doesn't matter what your intentions are, the damage done is the same for intentional or unintentional misinformation. So if I think it is you and not me and I think I am right, I need to be on the offence. I need you to counterpoint to a specific argument I made or I need to make you look stupid to either get you to counterpoint or prove to the average reader that if you had a counterpoint you would have used it instead of taking my shit.

This is why I started to insult you. I am sorry if it caused damage. My intent is not to cause damage unless the misinformation was intentional. I don't know of course, but I don't think you had any ill intent.

Your right, I don't think your special, that was less of a lie and more of an insult. I don't hate you, I think you are ok (witch is a better opinion that you have of your self), and I think you can get better. All this stuff is learned and is learnable.

Edit:

About the library ownership thing. I ignored it because I think my point is valid regardless of who owns the library. My issue was not with what the library did, my issue was in the framing of why the library did it. A framing you brought up.

[-] jj4211@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I think any fair interpretation of his info is that the homeless are given all sorts of reasonable accommodations even at that library including places to sit and rest, but they still sometimes elected to use an inappropriate space even while being given a choice.

Like if you built a whole guest house in your yard open to homeless and they leave it empty and break into your living room instead. You wouldn't be anti homeless because you wanted them in the well equipped shelter with beds and sofas instead of your couch.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

I think you've missed my point. I am not pro let homeless do whatever they want. I never claim to be that.

I am pro, if you take benches away from everyone because of a homeless person. You should own that.

It doesn't make anyone a bad person, because everyone takes away stuff from homeless people. It's a systemic problem.

But if you pretend that you had no choice, or that it was the right thing to do, then you're full of shit.

It's like if a politician gets caught insider trading. Yeah, everyone does it. Does that mean it's a good idea to stand up and say "I had no choice"? No you stand up and say " I did it, everyone does it, it's not right. It makes us a lot of money. Let's have a conversation about it."

this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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