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How do lonely people find friends/ how did you find friends? (ani.social)

submitted 4 weeks ago by Emi@ani.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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As a shut in with social anxiety and very introverted I'm wondering how to find friends now that I got better. Basically starting from zero since I know nobody in my city so I'm wondering if someone has some experience with finding friends as lonely anxious introvert and just how other people find friends.

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[-] Vibi 52 points 3 weeks ago

Recently...they've kind of just adopted me. I'm incredibly shy, but I had been going to a little local coffee shop (just to get out of the house) and always tried to be kind and engage with the people working there when they would talk with me. I had a few really emotional weeks, and one of the owners picked up on it. She handed me a note with her number, and let me know I could always talk with her. She ended up inviting me to a little Halloween pumpkin painting night with some of her friends, and I connected with them super well! Now they invite me out to little activities, food, movie nights, etc.

That's kind of how I've meant most of the friends I've had- be kind, be interested, and be present! People get more comfortable the more they see you around, so even if you're a little shy or awkward, someone might extend a hand and bring you into their circle.

[-] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

She handed me a note with her number, and let me know I could always talk with her.

That is awesome. I wish men got this kind of support when they are showing distress in public.

edit: I should clarify, not the 'giving phone number' part, just some support. In my experience men who look like they are suffering in any way are just actively avoided.

[-] darkstar@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 weeks ago

Never really thought of that, but it's so true how men showing distress just get avoided or ignored....

[-] ripcord@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Or actively ridiculed

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 3 weeks ago

Men are always expected to "man up" when dealing with any difficulty, especially emotional ones. Western social culture (values?) is a fucking mess

this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024

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