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Cheating on your spouse is no longer a crime in New York
(gothamist.com)
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this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.
And an open relationship is different then cheating.
Honestly, I think it’s high time we ditch old marriage laws in favor of much more individualized marriage contracts that are settled in civil court if they’re dissolved. Modern marriages are much more complex than traditional ones and our antiquated laws don’t deal with them well. We’d have to update laws/policies about hospital visiting, medical decisions, inheritance, etc, as well, but I think it would be worth it.
So reading a 200+ page EULA before saying I do, got it.
that's the opposite of the point of these laws. the entire point of this and no fault divorce is that the state shouldn't dictate relationships. how are you going to adjudicate cheating anyway?
How?
If person a is shown to have been cheating then person a loses any claim to alimony.
Pretty simple.
Person A in divorce court “judge I want alimony”
Person B in divorce court “your honor Person A was cheating here’s the proof”
Judge “ no alimony will be awarded from Person B to Person A”
Why should anyone be allowed to get alimony after cheating? That’s just insult to injury.
Your spouse cheats you walk in on it and now you want a divorce. Added bonus you have to pay money to the cheater for life???
How does that make sense?
It should literally be law that the alimony goes away at that point.
I do wonder the legal definition used here. I hope the law doesn't consider it cheating if you tell them about it first, regardless of if they say yes
Just my opinion, if my spouse (I'm not married) walks up to me and asks if they can sleep with someone else and I say no. Then they do it anyway. I would absolutely call that cheating. Then I'd call a divorce attorney. If I had to pay alimony after the divorce I'd be extremely bitter.
Your partner is not your property. They have the right to fuck who they want.
They dont have the right to endanger your health, which is why they need to tell you
In the context of the comment chain, you’re saying that a person who willfully violates a monogamous marriage vow should still be able to claim alimony in the event of a divorce, simply because they informed their spouse they were doing it?
Fuck that. What the hell are you thinking? Please tell me this isn’t what you mean.
Marriages shouldn't be monogamous. Thats antiquated and ridiculous
Some people get married for tax benefits, and the law shouldn't say anything about whether or not the marriage is poly or mono. I mean, sure, let people opt into it if they want legally enforced monogamy, like a prenup. But by default marriage shouldn't require monogomy. Thats insane.
Wow. Way to give polygamists a bad name, dude. Can’t let the monogamists have their slice of happiness, huh?
Pathetic. I’m glad you’re in the extreme minority, what a horrendous opinion you have.
I literally said its OK to be mono. Just that it shouldn't be required.
Also its polyamory, not polygamy
There is absolutely a difference between having an open relationship where both parties consent, and having a relationship where one person just sleeps around, but it's totally fine because the other was informed it was happening.
Your partner may not be your property, but that doesn't mean that sleeping around just because you told them it was happening is ok.
If you dont consent to your poly partner fucking someone else, you're saying "your body, my choice"
Thats so fucked, and I can't believe you're defending it
If a poly person is with a monogamous person and wants to sleep with a new partner, end the relationship with the monogamous person. The monogamous person can stay out of the relationship if they know the other person is poly, too.
Sure. I'm talking about a poly person in marriage with a poly person. They shouldn't be able to be criminalized for fucking someone else if they told their partner about it first.
No you weren't. You're moving the goalposts.
Nah, you made assumptions
Whoa buddy, drop the assumptions. You're assuming your partner is poly. Among other things.
I can't believe you're defending cheating and then excusing it as "we're just poly" (Even though you absolutely did not make that clear to begin with, and are now changing the circumstances of your argument. Maybe list out any assumptions you're using?)
I would never marry anyone who wasn't poly. The law is the one making assumptions here.
My point is that it shouldn't be possible for my spouse to persue criminal action against me for fucking someone else in a poly relationship if we're married. Thats fucked.
The law shouldn't make it not allowed to fuck someone outside your marriage by default. As I said before, thats cool to make it optional like a prenup, if you'd like, but it shouldn't be the default
People who are so concerned about that possibility can just require their prospective spouse to sign a prenup with conditions like that on alimony, as a condition of getting married.
If someone has this strong of a concern about potentially having to pay alimony in the future and their partner is this bothered by practical attempts to alleviate that fear by preventing an issue, then maybe they're just not right for each other and shouldn't get married.
Alimony laws also vary enormously by jurisdiction, and people could also just e.g. not marry someone who doesn't work or isn't planning to. Or only marry someone who gets paid close enough to the same amount that alimony likely wouldn't come into play regardless.
I think I have a realistic view. Usually terminally online men don't understand how alimony even works or how rare it is in the first place. I suppose they just get off on these kinds of justice porn theoretical outrage scenarios.
People change. Often for the worst and it's completely out of your control.
There are a number of states where the prenup is all but worthless.
Even Canada doesn't have that implemented, I wouldn't count on that any time soon. In Canada, your wife could cut off your finger and cheat on you then file for divorce, then you'd have to give her half of your house (even if it was your childhood home you fully owned long before your marriage) and pay her alimony if you make more than her. Also if you have kids, she's very likely going to win custody of them.
It's a bit fucked up lol
In some states in the United States, if you get a divorce, they go back to birth so for example, a child home would be split up. But in most states, they only go back to the date of marriage. I will say : I’ll never get married ever. But if I was dumb enough to do it, I would absolutely never get married in a state that (during a divorce) went back to birth. And I would never live in that state (while married) either. What’s mine before the marriage is mine what is hers before the marriage is hers.
No one should be able to claim the ability to take something before the marriage ever existed. That’s just my opinion.
And yeah, I doubt it would ever get implemented.