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they are probably just being polite
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Check this story out. So freaking embarrassing.
I was in college and my gf had recently broken up with me, so I was just grieving the loss by bouncing around clubs to see who I would run into since my ex I and would always go to the same club/bar with the same social group. As I walked into one club, I saw a girl I had worked on a project with. Btw, she was gorgeous and always very nice and sweet with me. She said hi and asked me what I was doing alone. I told her that I had just broken up with my gf, so I wanted to try out new places. She got really happy, was welcoming, gave me her drink to drink out of, and told me I could hang out with her and her friends for a while. I was happy I had a friend of my own that was caring when I was going through a tough time. We chilled and danced that night away. At last call, I had to figure out a ride home. She said her friend was driving her home, offered to take me back to her place, and she'd take me home in the morning, so I take it. I was broke broke, and cabs were way too expensive.
We get to her place, and I ask if I can have some sheets for the couch. She says she doesn't have any, but I can share the bed with her. I get in her room and it's a twin size, so I ask her if she's really okay with it. I was in the Marine Corps and can sleep anywhere. She gets under the cover and tells me to get in. I ask if it's okay if I sleep in boxers because jeans are too uncomfortable. She makes a silly face and says, "Duh!" I take off my pants, get in bed, give her my back, and pass out. The next morning, she was so weird with me and gave me a ride home. Maybe she was really hung over? I know I was. After that, she didn't really want to talk to me anymore.
A week later, my ex tries to get back with me but says that her friend saw me with the girl. I got happy and said that I was with the girl because I knew her from class, she was really nice, and even gave me a ride to her place to sleep off the night then took me home the next day. See, I'm not the loser that needed her for friends like she would tell me. My ex gets so upset about it, interrogating me for details. I'm open as hell about it because I didn't see anything wrong. In fact, I was proud that I had cool friends that looked out for me even without my ex. She's super upset now and discusses it with her parents, who tell her that I was just trying to know if I was still wanted. She then forgives me. I'm like what for?
This was not the only time a girl was really nice and let me sleep in her bed and then didn't want to talk to me after that. Do I snore a lot? Maybe I move a lot when I'm sleeping. Sometimes, when girls would offer for me to stay at their place, I would warn them by telling them that I think I snore a lot. If I do, just wake me up.
Years later, I'm telling my roommate about how weird the girls in undergrad were and that they were so flaky. One day they're your friend; the next day they don't respond to text messages. He tells me why they would get upset, I'm thinking, "Hmmm, maybe?" Years after that, I realized what happened by reading other people's similar stories. 🤦
#JustAutismThings
Edit: @db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com, you're going to like this one.
big oof, mate!
Oof. That's heavy. I never would have gotten that far, even.
I don't know about you, but the moment I realized (years later) I actually yelled "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???" to myself because it was so obvious in hindsight!
Heh, yeah, that seems pretty dense.
Also: I hope you got away from that ex girlfriend of yours. Breaking things off, then trying to get back together and questioning things that happened in the time off makes her seem like a very bad, controlling person that will drop you the moment someone "better" comes around.
Oh yeah, totally! I see her behavioral pattern now, but at the time I was oblivious. I must have frustrated her soooo bad. We eventually split but stay more distant friends. She gets a new boyfriend and wants me to meet him. I'm thinking to myself, "Sure. I got along great with her ex, so she probably has a type and I'll get along with the new one." I meet him and this guy is awesome! We get a long so great, we start hanging out apart from her, going rollerblading, playing pick-up sports, tail gating, etc. I'd be at a party and ask, "Yooo, it [exgf's] boyfriend coming?"
Several years later, I tell my roommate who knew her about it. "You know who was cool? [Exgf's] new boyfriend. I wonder what he's up to." My roommate said that she was trying to make me jealous. I was like, "Jokes on her! He became my friend so why would I be jealous?" No no no. That I would be jealous of him being with her. What? Why? Pfft, yeah right! After everything, why in the world would I want to be with her? As far as I was concerned, I felt more comfortable around her knowing that she had a boyfriend because boundaries would be clearly defined. She must have been soooo frustrated, she bought a copy of Forrest Gump just to play it and yell insults at the tv. lmaoooo
Man, sharing these stories are a trip! Thanks for entertaining them 🙂
Okay so this is nice and all, but are you going to help me find my sides? Because I think they're in orbit right now lmao
autism beats narcissism by accident. oopsies!
Yeah, you live and you learn. Even more for autistic folks, in my opinion.
Thanks for sharing those stories :)