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Am I insane?
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Parts of it remain indecipherable without the social context, however, as the writer explicitly assumes a mutual knowledge of some set of unspecified rules.
From the line "Never gonna run around and desert you" we can gather that when a relationship came to an end, the person ending the relationship would run around frantically and burn all possessions of their former partner, thus turning their property into a desert, or "deserting" them.
I thought it meant sprinkling sugar on them and eating them as an after dinner treat