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this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
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First I want to apologize somehow I didn't register "ex", and parts of my comment therefore made no sense.
Do you feel physically unsafe to confront him? If not, I think you're within your right to flat out say "you don't live here anymore and you need to pack now and then leave".
He's your ex. Nobody owes (or is owed) any interpersonal relationship from anyone else, nor any favors or support.
You already know all this though.
If you do feel threatened by him, I am always skeptical about involving police, but you have the best angle for that judgement call, maybe you should get on it. I hope there's space for you to give him a chance not to need that though. Involving the police only due to being timid I think would be an irresponsible play.
Do you have a trusting relationship with any mutual friends that can help you mediate and navigate this?
No matter what you do, it's going to have to happen, I don't see any sense in waiting. You need to be able to take care of yourself and move your life forward. There are only so many years you're alive... Don't give him another 2.
Thank you! I did have a friend with me at the time of confrontation which helped me immensely. It did require the police as it turns out there was a warrant for an unrelated matter for him although he wasn't arrested at the time. I think by having the police come he finally realized I wasn't backing down and he's run out of time. He's now moving his most important things out and working on finding another place. He has until the sheriff's department, which handles civil cases like this in my state, comes and officially removes him. I haven't told him but I think I will make arrangements with him after that happens for him to get the rest of his stuff at a later date.
I feel like I have more energy now than I've had for the last year, I actually want to do something with my time at home other than sleep.
I'm glad to hear you're turning that page, and I hope he chooses to as well. Congrats, and eventually congrats to him.