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this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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Cuz of little shits? You know how they say Karens are Karens cuz they never had consequences?
It is entirely possible to give children consequences without hitting them, you lack imagination if the only way you can envision giving a child consequences is to hit them.
Why do you think, “if you do something I disapprove of, I will cause you pain,” is a good lesson to teach a child? When a child does that to another child, it’s called bullying.
There's a difference between fear and respect. A child should NEVER fear the adult providing their care.
I would actually wager decent money that many of those little shits have been smacked around quite a lot. They learn to react how they were taught by demonstration. If mistakes are met with violence and aggression, then they learn to do the same to others.
I know a teacher who (unofficially) specialises in kids like those. They are hell on a new teacher. However, once they realise that they are not met with aggression, the veneer cracks. The young scared child realises that there is an adult they both cares and shouldn't be feared. Very soon, just the idea that they might disappoint her is a far better motivator than any punishment could be.
Christian (conservative) values do not differentiate between fear and respect. Preachers harp on their equivalence at the pulpit on a regular basis. They are taught by their respected authority figures that to fear is to respect, and they reinforce those values in their children. It's no wonder that authority figures in communities that hold these values are some of the most abusive.
They worship a being that kills everyone who doesn't do what he tells them to and tortures people forever for not believing in him when he is actively hiding from them. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree in that religion.
Yes! This is the exact approach a good teacher takes with students who struggle with behavioral norms. There is a reason they are doing what they're doing. They are reacting to adults the way they have been trained to react by other, shittier adults.
Once they trust you as a person who actually cares, they seem to become a whole new person. They are no longer scared to be vulnerable in front of you. It's a sacred level of respect that teachers and/or mentor adults need to take very seriously.
I used to be the person who specializes in working with students who struggle with behavioral problems, and I can 100% assure you that exposure to violence from or among adults they are around is what led them to my classrom.
Can you imagine being unable to communicate with a child without having the option of hitting them?