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Do they need to be the same mailbox?
Could you have a 'live' and 'archive' split?
If you could, then I'd use something like imapsync to make a complete mirror copy, and then delete all email older than whatever the age is that makes them outside of your usual working set, and bam, done.
The problem you're going to have is there's a LOT of tools that can sync imap->imap, but they're more migration or backup tools and won't let you delete the email from gmail afterwards while maintaining a usable archive, which I think is a requirement to solve your issue.
Yeah, they are ideally the same mailbox. I'd like a similar experience to Gmail, but with all the emails rehomed to my server.