[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

What makes this behaviour so uncomfortable is that it combines clocking, which is pretty uncomfortable, with being "nice", the pronoun intro. Even if the intent was to be nice to the trans person, it still pushes scrutiny on us and makes us feel isolated as well as making us question our presentation and appearance, which is especially hard for transfemmes, since bc of transmisogyny, we get judged for our looks thrice as hard as other people.

Thus what I receive from this introduction is not "This person is an ally", but "this person lords my appearance over me and wants to be my friend at the same time", which is incredibly patronizing and socially threatening.

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah true, I know it is not supposed to be like my job to have people have better takes, but I guess those are leftovers from former experiences where not getting gendered correctly was made to be my fault (btw happened in context of supposedly queer-friendly groups lmao)

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I had like an interaction where I had some decent clues that a person only introduces their pronouns after they clocked me, e.g. other people didn't do pronoun intro before, the way the "ally in question" did it felt pretty artificial (I am willing to write that off on being paranoid).

The message is "I know you are trans, you are not passing, but I am graciously allowing you to exist in this group setting". Same goes for only doing pronoun checks in a group setting when you clock a trans person. I find it worse than assuming wrong pronouns and switching after being gently corrected. Maybe because I have higher standards of would-be allies than the average person. After all, allies are supposed to have my back, not just not having a hitler-detector moment when I pass by. On the other hand, I have it easy for being okay with being a semi-binary trans woman, so obv enby struggles are another thing, but clocking still stings like a bitch.

Pronoun checks should be normalized to a point cis people do it intuitively, but idk if we will ever get there. If you wanna chime in, when and how did you call that behaviour out or point it out, if you saw it? Did your response work?

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Let this IQ shit meme tier die, it is already bad enough that cuck and soy and other stuff are copied from holes like 4chan for no good reason

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

IN SUPPOSEDLY LEFTIST GROUPS LMAO

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Wait until you get to the part where people do the victim blaming, high school drama, and content warning stuff on each other for a) ego, b) personal advancement, c) stomping down on minorities that piss them off by existing

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I get one egregious instance of like hate comments/verbal attacks per week and idk if my country (not US) is just worse than usual or if shit has become worse. I am not sure how long staying here would be safe. I have lost most hope in political change around here. Too many social climbers for some reason in lefty groups (anyones that are not a cult) and nobody takes trans women serious around here anyway, so it's not like I could do much, besides most trans activists are pretty fucking liberal with a red paint coat, I felt.

Next ten years will be fine probably, but I get the feeling if I am not ready to piss off when bad things start happening, I am fucked

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

basically transphobic eruptions at me on a daily basis, I think I stopped giving a fuck, but feel free to drop your response strategies, I did everything from ignoring to aggression and have okay results for it, but i am curious what worked for you in what situations. Ignoring helps with open verbal bark-no-bite aggression somewhat I found. I have good crazy eyes so staring down gawkers also worked well ig

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

turning a big dial taht says "UNLIMITED GENOCIDE ON THE FIRST WORLD" on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Mods saved me from pointless slap fights by locking the "annoy the libs" thread 19

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[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

My own fault for trusting a ciSSy (not you, dear reader, the other cis person) ig.

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

I do my own memes, but I can't post the recent one as it involves the razing of my specific town (look up anybody razing some european city in some early modern war and insert 5 famous fascists associated with the town being fireballed and you have a rough idea)

[-] vomit_sounds@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Therapist fucked me over. I will definitely just order estrogen. She even said the fucking t slur when talking about support groups. She was so nice otherwise for like two years but turns out she didn't even give me anything close to transition gatekeep-check boxes and strung me along so she could get money from health insurance and now has found another client ig.

This week saw death threats, teen cliques trying to give me shit for wearing striped knee highs, random people flipping me off and general off-handed remarks. I found out I am pretty good at making people flinch away by staring them down.

Only place I felt kind of calm was when there were weirder people drawing attention away from me. Also, is JDPON meming allowed in here?

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vomit_sounds

joined 1 year ago