view the rest of the comments
transenby_liberation
Community for trans and non-binary folk to band together and break free from the oppressive shackles of cis-heteronormative capitalism. Or shitpost and converse with each other. Just stay comfy, y'all. :)
Asking trans and non-binary related questions is highly encouraged by our community, but please direct all questions to c/askchapo. <3
Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue by Leslie Feinberg
Trans Liberation Chapo Discussion
Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg
Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman by Leslie Feinberg
RESOURCES
Transgender Map by Andrea James
RULES
1. Familiarize yourself with the Code of Conduct
Code of Conduct
2. Don't link to transphobia
Please don't link to transphobia (or other bigotry), even if your personal intent is to challenge the bigotry in some way. Provide a content warning label in the title of your post where applicable.
3. Be dank; don't be not-dank
No liberalism, capitalist apologia, imperialism, etc.
4. No sexually explicit content
As badly as some of us want to get saucy here, do not post sexually-explicit content that could reveal your personal or confidential information. Until there is a way this could be safely executed, all sexually-explicit posts will be removed to keep our comrades safe.
5. We are not a crisis service
We can't guarantee an immediate response. This does not mean no one cares. If you need to talk to someone at once, you may want to take a look at this directory of Hotline Numbers.
6. If you need help but don't feel comfortable making a post for any reason
please message the moderators. We will be glad to talk with you privately, or help in any other way that we can.
What do you mean by this?
What makes this behaviour so uncomfortable is that it combines clocking, which is pretty uncomfortable, with being "nice", the pronoun intro. Even if the intent was to be nice to the trans person, it still pushes scrutiny on us and makes us feel isolated as well as making us question our presentation and appearance, which is especially hard for transfemmes, since bc of transmisogyny, we get judged for our looks thrice as hard as other people.
Thus what I receive from this introduction is not "This person is an ally", but "this person lords my appearance over me and wants to be my friend at the same time", which is incredibly patronizing and socially threatening.
Getting mad at someone for, by your own admission, trying to be nice sounds self defeating to me, but I hear what you are saying about it feeling patronizing.
To me it sounds like what you’re really upset about is being clocked. Being clocked is shitty. Clocking someone is awkward.
If you start the pronoun discussion yourself, does that help? Theoretically cis people should be doing that automatically, so if you don’t get clocked then great you’re normalizing pronouns. If you did get clocked then it changes nothing and it saves you feeling like someone is white knighting on your behalf?