users from other instances are not allowed to make top comment posts

but I'm from this instance??

Then what was your point?? Cause it sounded like you're implying that hexbears don't have the right to vote on comments. And if that's what you meant, thats kinda messed up honestly.

I'm sorry are you trying to imply that not all lemmy users should get the right to vote on comments?

Show me where "a huge fraction" of them are doing that NOT IN RESPONSE to people badmouthing them and accusing them of shit, but for no reason. Show me these hijacked communities you keep mentioning. Show me these many conversations that are "entirely unreadable". Show me anti-trans rhetoric that isn't swiftly dealt with by their admins.

Defederating isn't the answer, giving individuals the ability to block whole instances on every platform they use is the answer.

Have I seen individuals say shitty things? Of course, but I don't assume every person on hexbear is an enemy. For instance, over on lemm.ee I just had a convo with someone who was vehemently pro-landlord and hated "communism" while admitting they've never read any communist literature. Should I assume this is what everyone on lemm.ee is like? I've run across a TON of trolls and anti-leftists on lemmy.world... should I assume everyone on lemmy.world is a troll? Lemmynsfw is constantly throwing up communities that somehow bypass the nsfw filters. Should I make assumptions about everyone on lemmynsfw too now? That is a slippery slope into an echo chamber imho.

Give users the ability to block whole instances, and only defederate when a WHOLE instance is geared towards disruption, like explodingheads. I wandered around hexbear yesterday looking through their communites and posts, and there's definitely some opinions I don't agree with, but I'm not seeing calls to flood posts on other instances like people are claiming. All I'm seeing is a lot of in-jokes, memes, and civil discussions.

I honestly think the hate toward hexbear is mostly manufactured. A lot of the people complaining are the same ones erroneously comparing them to places like exploding heads, claiming they're nazi trolls, that they go on downvoting raids (they can't even downvote btw), accusing them of terrible things, but then don't (or won't) provide any proof of them acting this way. And when people like me who aren't on hexbear question it, we get accused of being a "hexbear in disguise" and ignored. It all feels very dramatic and reddit, and I thought the point of lemmy was to not be like reddit. Defederating from problematic instances I get, but defederating because you hate tankies or because of a few bad members seems more of an 'echo chamber' choice than a 'keep the community safe' choice to me.

Ah yes, my childhood. Too bad they failed to genderize me

Wise words from The Actual Devil. Hail Satan! 😊

I dunno if this helps, but my brain tends to categorize gender presentation on a sliding scale of fem-androgynous-masc instead of using male and female. And when I saw your post my brain automatically said: presents as fem.

He did indeed: https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/movies/internet-roasting-ben-shapiro-hate-watching-barbie-dressed-ken-rcna95843

Oooh nice, one of my current favs, I'm glad people are starting to notice them