I AM NOT A LAWYER nor have I slept in a Motel 6 recently, but I believe in California, someone convicted of a sex-related crime becomes a "registered sex offender" for life. They can't live near schools and there are other restrictions. During employee-onboarding, HR must have discovered that this guy has a criminal record. If not, you should discuss this with your manager and HR. If they're a registered sex offender, then the company should follow the guidelines for employing such people.

As of tomorrow, she'd be arrested the moment she steps into any public locale in California.

If I found out a TV required internet access to function, I'd return it to wherever I bought it next day.

Luckily I have a old-ish flatscreen that doesn't require internet but does have a netflix and other channels I can setup if I want. The Netflix client is so old it won't connect to their servers any more. That's OK. My Roku still works.

I thought it was Euler that did this. But I can imagine Gauss doing it too.

My great Aunt had a terrific joke about Henry:

Nixon is walking outside the Whitehouse near an area of freshly fallen snow.

He sees NIXON SUCKS in yellow snow and asks the Secret Service (and the FBI) to investigate who did it.

A couple days go by and someone from the FBI Forensics Lab comes into the Oval Office to report.

"Well?" Nixon asked.

"You're not gonna like this."

"Just tell me."

"It's Henry's."

"I knew it!"

"Ah. That's not all Mr. President."

"What else?"

"It's Pat's handwriting."

This is why you have so many Russians being thrown out of windows in high buildings. They're testing the local value of g.

If I'm Nancy's Secret Santa, I'm getting her gift cards to PetSmart and Dunkin Donuts.

During 45's badministration, the Voodoo supply shop kept running out of pins. Once he was out, I transferred a bunch to other dolls.

The hard part is getting hair or nail clippings for all those Election Deniers in Congress.

A variation of Carl Reiner's joke: How do you make God laugh?

Tell her your plan.

I stopped tipping the grocery clerks when they stopped asking to see my ID when I purchased alcohol.

I mentioned this when the woman ahead of me bought a bottle of wine. The clerk said "She looks under 35. You don't."

Definitely no tip.

While I can't be sure, but I'll pretty certain that someone saying the same thing about the Police Union Leader's family would be met with a visit from a SWAT team. I wonder where when Anonymous will start doing takedowns of such people. I'm sure there's plenty of dirt underneath this guy's carpets.

My father always used to say he had three kids. One of each.

30 years later, I repeated this to my niece and nephew. They were quite puzzled. Especially when my brother laughed saying "I forgot Dad used to say that."