I don't think you're a monster -- I think what you're doing is noble and deserves recognition. Often I have had to be a supportive friend in difficult pet health situations, so I absolutely know what it feels like.

However, I do question why you refer to Toasty as "it". I understand you're trying to distance yourself to lessen the emotional impact. However, if it were you taking care of her grandmother in her final days, would it be acceptable to refer to her as "it"?

I also do have to question why the final step is shooting the dog. I could see if you don't have funds for euthanasia, however there are a fair number of clinics and shelters out there that will do a free euthanasia if you explain the situation. I understand if that isn't feasible but I urge you to consider euthanasia.

Either way, I'm glad he's being taken care of in his final days. It's what every animal deserves, and it shows you care on some level, even if you are trying to deny that feeling. I hope you can both find some easing of tension in this incredibly stressful situation. Thank you for caring.

There are brands that specifically state "live and active cultures" on the main part of the label

edit: usually these will be in the refrigerated section. If it is a fermented product and it is being refrigerated at the store it is likely live.

Adding onto this, I didn't enjoy green tea until I started brewing it gong fu style with loose leaves. Teabags are acceptable for black tea but completely ruin green imo.

It's also worth noting that there's a noticable flavor and taste difference between different types of green (for example, I dislike the popular dragonwell, but love maofeng/mountain green tips). There's also a gulf of difference between Chinese and Japanese green teas, due to the processing. Usually Chinese tea is pan/wok/hot air fried, leading to a more nutty and complex profile, whereas Japanese greens tend to be steamed, leading to a more vegetal taste.

I also really like matcha, if you can afford the initial investment. It's definitely unique and can be an acquired taste. I really like the ippodo Sayaka/Horai, since it doesn't have a very strong umami taste, which can be off putting for people new to matcha.

Edit: and yes, there is actual science backing up your interpretation of green tea being less jittery. The L-theanine, an amino acid unique to green tea and a few mushroom varieties, has a balancing effect when paired with caffeine.

I always say no because receipts have been shown to commonly contain BPA and other cancer-causing/endocrine-disrupting chemicals that can be absorbed through your skin. The data seems to be mixed on whether or not the dermal uptake is significant enough to pose a threat, but I just don't want to take the chance.

If you have to have a receipt, try to touch it for the least amount of time possible, avoid touching the printed side, and keep it in a container or Ziploc bag in your main bag or somewhere else.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/receipt-paper-harmful/
https://www.ecocenter.org/our-work/healthy-stuff-lab/reports/receipt-deceit-toxic-chemicals-receipt-paper/test-results
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412020319863
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33313651/
https://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/doi/10.1289/isee.2013.S-2-37-02

Repos are archived by the maintainer, but I find these really helpful resources:

https://github.com/dylanaraps/pure-bash-bible https://github.com/dylanaraps/pure-sh-bible

Usually not into poetry but this was really good. Even if we're scared and in pain, knowing other people feel the way I do helps so much 💜

First time car buyers don't have any car to sell.

Baked tofu is really good. I will press it and cut it into cubes, combine with potato starch, extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper, and a pinch of MSG and bake that on parchment paper. It's quick and easy to add some nice protein to bean and cheese burritos (rice, cabbage, salsa, lime, whatever else you have), or throw it in a store bought salad for extra calories.

The cut raw cubes will keep in a container in the refrigerator for at least a few days so I'll cut it all up on Monday and maybe prep a sauce or two and use the tofu and the sauce in different dishes in the week.

At least one of the main features is seamless suspend/resume. Not sure what the state of that is on Windows but I've seen a lot of people mention that SD feature specifically.

They are referring to the Blitzchung incident, when China illegally took full control over Hong Kong before their agreement to let it be autonomous expired. During the mass protests a Hong Kong esports player voiced support for the protests on a Blizzard livestream for an event and was banned from the tournament and was forced to forfeit prize money he already won: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blitzchung_controversy

Edit: also, disapproval of the CCP =/= dislike of/racism towards Chinese people

As a fellow omnivore trying to eat more vegan/vegetarian recipes, I think rainbow plant life on YouTube has the best recipes that I've tried. If you've read Salt Fat Acid Heat, most/all of her recipes are based on that technique/ideology. Her red lentil curry is really good and I make a double batch about once every other month to keep in the freezer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHRyfEbhFFU

I live with people that don't like coconut milk so I just use a mixture of heavy cream and milk. I also sub half of the red lentils for brown lentils for extra fiber.

Guh-imp.