[-] immathrowawayig@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I agree that I am immature as other people have identified too here. But how do I get matured? Go outside? Form friendships? Honestly atp of life, making friends seems hard and sadly I'm not that young. I have finished my studies. Guess I'm one immature adult but hoping to be a better version in the future.

Thanks for the advice.

Agree. I'll make sure to plan before and then have expectations set. Thanks.

Very true. It was just so stupid of me to assume she would be free. Usually she is, but I should've asked her anyway. My bad totally.

Thanks for your advice. You being in same situation as me in the past gives me hope. I'll to go out more and sed how it goes.

[-] immathrowawayig@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

A lot of times I have posted on Internet especially on lemmy about my problems, people have identified that I might have ADHD. So yeah, I think, at this point I have ADHD. I'll look for ways to deal with it. Thanks.

Thanks for the detailed write-up. And you are spot-on I believe. I agree with almost all of the points and funny how I didn't realise how hypocritical I was.

But few things I want to clear here. Yes, I was sad about things not going my way but I didn't express these to her nor blamed her for ruining my evening or something. I just let her go. I only came here, trying to understand why I felt that way and what I can do about it. That's it.

And true, I am not ready for relationship and I often feel I don't have any personality at all. Low self-esteem and insecure are some other things I have identified in me, which I forgot to mention in my post. And having these qualities has made me push my friends away. I currently have 0 irl friends, and sad part is she is my only friend I have rn with whom I can open about everything. There are people who are in touch with me as friends but I am not very open to them at all and I really can't gel with them.

why don't you log some time in the real world?

I am assuming with "you" here you are calling us both to spend some time irl? Thats just very out of reach for us as we are very long distance from eachother, not sure if we both meet eachother at all in our lives :/

Video calls No, we haven't and we don't see a reason in doing so. We both are introverts and we prefer chatting over calls. But she did shwo her interest in making calls for fun at one point but we forgot about it later on. We did exchange our pics, so yeah.

And regarding me touching grass, oh yeah that's some area I need to improve upon too.

Throwaway account btw as I don't like to post personal stuff from my main account. Hope you all understand. Cheers.

40

Argh. Alright sounds very dumb but here am I seeking for opinions to knock some sense into me.

So, I have this girl who is my online-only friend who I've been chatting with for almost 4 years now. We gotten really close and too close to call her just a friend. She termed that we might be in a situationship. My knowledge regarding relationships is 0 as I have no prior experience in relationships. So I'm learning as we go.

I'm enjoying so much of her presence with me chatting online that I think I am not doing any rational thinking, like, putting off stuff just to catch her online to chat and bunch of other stuff. I have recognised this having adverse effects on me so I've started to prioritise things this week due to which I have gotten very less time chatting her.

Today, being the weekend I wanted to spend all evening chatting with her with no limits on my schedule as it is a weekend. I have set these crazy expectations of just spending all evening with her doing nothing but chatting.

But to my disappointment, she replied late and turns out that she was out somewhere attending a party of her friend. I just told her to enjoy the night and acted nonchalantly. But insidesl, there is this huge disappointment that was crushing me.

I have started to think some very bad stuff like:

  • that I should just let people be and enjoy being alone
  • depending on people always leads to disappointments
  • expectations should be curbed and always have low expectations about everything
  • being alone is the best way to treat yourself
  • stay away from people and indulge in alone entertainment like watching web series or movies at home

I know, very dumb of me to think of these things but on the other hand these stuff brings some sort of solace to my distraught mind.

Also as I have been learning about myself a lot since I've gotten close to her, I have identified myself being cynical, toxic(we always fight and patch up, not sure if it's toxic I'm still learning), jealous and showing signs of limerence with anxiously attached relationship traits. Crazy package I know but I'm willing to get better and I feel the first step is recognising my bad behaviours. This is why I'm here seeking for opinions to knock some sense into me.

immathrowawayig

joined 3 days ago