I wish that I had Chesse's girl

“It takes more than that to kill a bull moose,” the wounded candidate assured them. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a bullet-riddled, 50-page speech. Holding up his prepared remarks, which had two big holes blown through each page, Roosevelt continued. “Fortunately I had my manuscript, so you see I was going to make a long speech, and there is a bullet—there is where the bullet went through—and it probably saved me from it going into my heart. The bullet is in me now, so I cannot make a very long speech, but I will try my best.”

To collect the space dust, we need a Dyson vacuum.

It even embiggens a kwyjibo like me!

(Sadly I am a fat North American ape, but not balding yet)

Also you said tit Ook OOk OOK HOOHOO HAHOO!

Couldn't we just build a wall around him? Serves the same purpose, right?

Lifetime confirmed bachelorettes.

Me so glad they tried!

"I only use the n-word when the black person I'm saying it to deserves it. "

-you, probably

I remember back in twenty-dickety-two when the Nazis took my circle-made-with-forefinger-and-thumb hand sign. They tried to take my milk, too, but I chased 'em of my property.

Who says that the person you replied to named themselves after that Jesus?

Reddit escapee living in Central IL. Remote enterprise application developer in a fairly niche insurance category. Grew up here but spent many years in Chicago and then San Diego. Came back to raise a family here and have been back for about 17 years now. Good to be here in midwest.social!