Depending on who it is, I either ask them how they've been, apologize for who I was back then, or turn 360° and moonwalk out of there

~~Unsurprising. $78k/yr comes out to $2194/mo take home pay per Smartasset's calculator. Average rent is well over $1k/mo with no signs of going down any time soon. Landlords frequently demand potential renters have an income of 3x the rent. Gotta live somewhere.~~

Apparently I'm stupid but I'm too tired to fix it rn so I will just leave my shame up here for all to see. My point is being alive is expensive and bad math or no I'm still not surprised to see this.

Edit again because I'm also too stupid to do a strikethrough correctly even with a formatting bar right there. FML and F this phone too, I'm going to bed

Terrible cosplay. The Knights Who Say Ni never used firearms.

I agree with the other commenters that you should spend some time outside your comfort zone but pace yourself very carefully. The article mentioned a proximal zone that's outside but adjacent to the comfort zone. I think it's good to mostly shoot for that with occasional planned forays further out just to test yourself.

IMO nobody should be telling you when to go outside your comfort zone or how far, or whether you're doing it enough, unless it's someone close to you whose opinion you can trust and who you know will hear you out when you say you're overwhelmed. And even then you still have veto power because you're the one who has to deal with the fallout if you push yourself too far and melt down or burn out. I don't ever see any NT folks volunteering to help people clean up their life after that except maybe social workers and therapists.

The flip side of this is that since nobody can tell you how much is too much, you're responsible for monitoring that yourself and communicating or removing yourself before you get overwhelmed. That's a good use for the proximal zone - testing your boundaries and keeping an eye on your mood so you can learn to spot when you are approaching your limit. Easier said than done, but I've found it worth the effort. And it gets easier with time.

The other thing to recognize is that some days your comfort zone is pretty big and other days it's about as big as your bed. Asking yourself "how big is my comfort zone today" helps you give yourself some grace. If it's a bed day and you got out of bed, you already exited your comfort zone and should factor that in when you plan your day.

It took a lot for me to get out of bed today. And then you had to go and show me this.

When the going gets weird, the weird go pro.

Being a responsible adult with ADHD means kind of doing both in a controlled way. What I mean by that is, ADHD gives you some deficits and difficulties. On the one hand, you can't use it as an excuse to not work on those difficulties and do your best. On the other hand, you also shouldn't be hard on yourself if your best sometimes doesn't measure up to other people's expectations. And for your sanity you should always give yourself breaks from working on yourself.

Somewhat. I still have some of the visual images in my head, but the memory of how I felt at those times is gone or very faded. Often the memories feel, not exactly dreamlike, but like I am looking at a diorama or one of those paperweights that has a scene encased in resin, forever visible but inaccessible.

I've started to forget my dad's voice a bit and it scares me. I don't want to forget anything about him ever.

My therapist said that you don't really remember things, you just remember the last time you remembered them. Like a copy of a copy. And that's how memories get distorted over time. So it's like, am I ruining those memories by remembering them, like a tape you play over and over til you wear it out? Or should I play the tapes anyway in case I hit my head or have a stroke or something and lose a bunch of them?

My phone has been a lifesaver for remembering things. I grew up in the days of paper planners, so it's a real treat to be able to set up reminders etc. Prior to that I used lists and post-it notes. Post-it notes are tricky because if you use them a lot they become part of the scenery, so getting an assortment and changing to a different color note helped me to notice them.

For developing habits, instead of "do it for 30 days and it'll stick" (lmao) I try to shoot for progressively more consistency over time. So when getting back in the habit of flossing, every day was overwhelming but I could do once per week which was better than nothing. Then every other day. Now I do it daily. Does this work with everything? No but when it works it works. In other words don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Some > none.

Mindfulness is not a cure-all but it is a good building block. I practiced just being present and noticing my thoughts. Noticing thoughts allowed me to start observing my train of thought to see where exactly it derails and keeps me from getting things done. If I can figure out where I'm getting distracted I can create workarounds for those. Sometimes I have to literally make a diagram of the thought pattern, like a flowchart, to see what's happening.

I also made a list of my main goals in life including the pedestrian ones like eating healthier and doing creative things, and posted a thing on my fridge to help remember to do something towards those goals every day that I feel up to it. That cuts down on the amount of time I spend in neutral gear wondering what to do with my time. If I don't know wtf else to do then at least I can do something small that will advance a life goal.

The last thing I'll say is give yourself some grace. Nobody has their shit together. Some people just fake it better. Reward yourself whenever you make progress and go out of your way to point out to yourself when you accomplished something or successfully used a cognitive tool. That voice in your head that says you're dumb and can't do anything? It's a jerk, don't listen to it. Go out of your way to rub your successes in its face.

That's all I got, hope it helped.

White supremacists are like that guy nobody ever wants at their party but who always invites himself anyway. It's hard enough to keep him from washing his balls in the punch bowl when you're actively trying to keep him out. Meta doesn't even try except to the meager extent required by law.

Yup. Also applies if you're diagnosed but having to rawdog all of it because your body can't tolerate either ADHD meds or antidepressants. So you're stuck trying to kludge together solutions with behavioral, cognitive and lifestyle changes and it's like trying to build a sand castle with powdered sugar. Maybe you can make something stick together a bit, but one big sneeze and it's all gone.

Only reason I can think of is to get in on the ground floor of the fediverse and eat its lunch.