thank you!

Thank you for your replying <3

After reading the comments I went back and read my post and realized I didn't get my point across. The thing that bothers me isn't that I don't get enough sympathy for my own struggle. What bothers me is that when I tell people "my ADHD has been eroding our marriage" everyone seems to be low-key (or not so low-key) assuming that my partner must be overreacting because it can't be THAT bad. They think I'm just a bit more chaotic than most people and my partner must be overly sensitive.

Thank you for your replying <3

After reading the comments I went back and read my post and realized I didn't get my point across. The thing that bothers me isn't that I don't get enough sympathy for my own struggle. What bothers me is that when I tell people "my ADHD has been eroding our marriage" everyone seems to be low-key (or not so low-key) assuming that my partner must be overreacting because it can't be THAT bad. They think I'm just a bit more chaotic than most people and my partner must be overly sensitive.

Thank you <3

Yeah, I've been suffering from depression for around 1,5 years and am currently on antidepressants in addition to my adhd meds. Looking back on my life I can see how ADHD has always been there but I also think that my interpersonal relationships suffered as badly as they could have. I think I was often lucky. For example, I lost my first "proper job" because I kept forgetting important things. But regardless of that my boss liked me on a personal level, suggested that this job just wasn't for me and when I got a job at the same place but a different department we still got along great.

But my relationship with my wife had only been my second proper relationship and my first true long-term relationship and I feel like my ADHD was a ticking timebomb and when it went off it shattered everything.

One of the turning points for me was to stop putting myself last and to instead put myself first.

This is actually great advice. I've started to notice that I have ended up in a mental place where I'm constantly beating myself up and disregarding my own needs and feelings because "I'm the one who's wrong" and so I feel like I'm not allowed to complain about anything. It's not helpful at all.

Thank you, I appreciate your suggestions :) I'm on meds, yes, and I think it has helped a bit but not as much as I had hoped it would.

Thank you so much :) I have in fact started to set reminders and alarms for things I need to do and it works well. My problem is rather to become aware of things that will need to be taken care of soon or being attentive enough to notice when something needs to be done, you know?

Thank you for your kind words <3 <3 <3

Thank you for your support <3

I don't think my wife came into our marriage expecting me to change. It took her a while to realize something was wrong and all the while our relationship was developing a dynamic that just got worse and worse.

I had tried that :) turns out it was thevpn

Thank you! I'll look into it!